All Alone or Not, You Gotta Walk Ahead

As long as it is a good movie, it doesn't matter when you get to see it, right?
This one particular, I would say is a tear-jerker. So Melodramatic~~~ I cired my heart out while watching it at home with my hubby napping on the couch next to me. He isn't that romantic or any sensitive about delicate moves, but he is always there for me.

But........ here comes the "BUT" scary "BUT
The movie narration was pretty leaping at the first two scenes. The irrational fight with the steamy love-making afterward was somewhat cliche. I know how common it is to couples. It just isn't a new way of putting the set. Then, Gerry suddenly died~~He died~Jaw-dropping!!

So, I started clipping my toenails. I wasn't aware of how my toe nails were done. Because, before long, I started to shed tears~~~

From the Birthday Scene......To the end. Every mail Holly got had made me cry even harder~

I would say, it would be difficult for people to understand that sort of painful loss if they hadn't ever had that ridiculous, consuming love in their lives. Whether they got dumped or lost their love ones to the death could they understand the feelings of lingering in the limbo, being a living death.

The lines in the movie that I love the best was----- All alone or nor, you gotta walk ahead. The thing is, if we're all alone, then we're all together in that, too.

Yes, indeed. It is so true, is it not??

When I was 19, I had one love that was so consuming and ridiculous~~It took me 5 years to put myself together from my wandering soul. There were friends around me who listened. There were constant talks about the feelings. Story-telling to those who got in the same situations. Time passed and the timing came, that was how the closure was made~~~

Then, when I finally snapped out of it. I realized " things change through time, love changes as well, we are what we have to depend on. Especially, when the love isn't perfectly ended, standing on our feet is how you can move on from the wounds. "

Now, I am married. I love my hubby. This love relationship with him is just relaxed and comfortable, not tiring at all, not exactly consuming but I can still feel the heat. I sometimes tease and ask him about how sad he would be without me around or, on the other way around, on how sad I would definately be if he wasn't around. We all know in our hearts that it will be devastaing to lose each other. Because our love for each other is mutual and reciprocal. Of course, one day, when one of us needs to live without the other half, at least I would know how to face it.

Well....this movie was more than just love between couples. At the end of the movie, Holly's mom handed her the last mail from Gerry and told her how Gerry had made her cooperated with his antemortem plans. While handing Holly the mail, her mother told her it was time for her to make a closure. They talked about Holly's father, whom Holly barely knew much about. Holly's mom explained why she was so furious and against Holly's marriage with Gerry. She said, she was angry with herself for being so powerless letting her child going after the same path she once had been. Falling in love with a man whose characters reminded Holly's mom of her dad. It is needless to say that sometimes parents are not always right.



Ginger, the AUTHOR. Yap ! Tha's right !

The draft cover
My books, there are totally 5 of them for the author.
The front.
The back.
Although, I haven't actively taken action on pursuing my PH.D yet. I think, the goal has moved a step forward with a new title that definately will be listed on my resume, the AUTHOR.
Ginger, Huei-Chen Yang, the author of the book, "Women's freedom of Choice in Marge Piercy's Three Women."
This out-of-blue fortune happened on an email I received one day this February while I was browsing carelessly on the internet. The one who wrote the email said she was an assistant researcher from a German publisher, she said my thesis matched their planned object and asked me if I would be interested in publishing my thesis.
I was stunned for a moment, tried to read it the second time and I cried out loud~~
The pressure was released through the cry of me and accompanied with tears and uncontrollable shiver. It was so overwhelmed and took me minutes to calm myself down~~
After calming down, I started to think it might be too good to be true. How would I be the one while there were hundreds of thousands graduate, post-graduate students out there with their thesis coming out every minute in the world, especially when many of them whose mother tongue was English and might have gottten upper hands in being chosen.
Why ME???
Would it be an international scam ?
But it didn't make much sense~Why bother spending energy on a nobody far away in Taiwan from Germany?
So, the first thing I did was calling my cousin in Germany, telling her the good news, asking if she would help me by requesting her husband to confirm the authenticity of the publisher for me.
At the same time, I replied the email saying that I was highly interested in knowing more about the detail.
The publisher said there would be no charge for publishing my thesis, but there were conditions and terms about the cut I would get in the future.
I called my professor right away after the reply and consulted her to see whether it was a good idea to let the publisher publish my book. In fact, at that time, I still needed to pass the editiorial censor. She would decide the possibility of the market potential.
I passed, and there began my way to my book-publishing.
Because it is a thriving publisher and are aggressively publishing the academic books. Their budget on the books are not that high. They provide an online system for all potentail authors to upload their information which will be made into book covers.
So, that was how it worked, I went online to key in the introduction of the book, the title, subtitle of the book even the author's short biography. I decided what I wanted to reveal.
That's interesting~~~ I even picked the color of my book, the designed photoshot.
The whole book- publishing event took nearly 3 months to accomplish.
I got my books few weeks ago. They are beautiful~~of course they are. Every part was decided by me.
I was trying to keep the news low until everything was finalized.
I still can't believe I have my own books now. Nothing changes in my life, still a nobody who wishes to have her dream come true one day. Hibernating now to store more knowledge and waiting for the chance to strike hard some day.


Believe Yourself, BRO~~~

My brother has been down for quite a while. I can't recall since when he started feeling moody.
He is upset about his love life, his unsettled future and family matters.

I can totally understand how he feels because I had been there years ago. When I was younger, when my love relationship failed me and I thought I would end up alone till I die.

When he talked about how he couldn't get the job he wanted and how unlucky he was, I was there listening and tried convincing him it would go away, telling him my own stories, how I had survived through the lows. Maybe I talked too much, and I shouldn't have done that. I should have just listened and let him vented all he wanted.

But I couldn't bare to see him got stuck in the mud and suffered the pain that one day he might find it worthless.

My younger brother is my only sibling, and thus, I care for him a lots~ We supported each other through many ups and downs, those hideous mood swings that disturbed us both from our mom.

Today, he went to psychic with my mom to ask about his future. He came back without any solutions~~ But he told me, he knew he had to believe himself and do what he thought was right to do. I was happy to hear this.~~ Afterall, our fates lie in our hands.

I had once written about the Psychic (Shaman) matter in my blog. This is common in Taiwanese culture. Before going to shrinks get accepted, people went to psychics for spiritual comforts,
trying to find ways out through supernatural power. Of course, it is only the therapeutic process that matteres!!

But one thing for sure is, never take the prediction too seriously unless it is something good.
Because postive energy accelarates the good thing to happen quicker but the negative one brings you down to the dead end infinitely~~

So far, I don't know what else I can do or say to help my bro. I'll probably repeat what I've already said.

Today, after calling him, I realized he was smart enough to see the situation.
I am sure, he will put himself together soon and moves on to the next step.
Nobody holds the key to the door you wish to enter, man~~~
You have all my best wishes ~~my dear bro.