How we are brought up by our families with the primary domestic education, plus schooling and social experiences help determine our temperaments and personalities. Some part of us may change over time through different age phases out of the clashes with inspiring new ideas and conceptions, however, some may never change because those characteristics are rooted in our genes. I believe this theory saying that some are born to be more optimistic than others.
Under the imprinted influence from my mom, my brother and I are constanly in low moods. Because our rooted causes are the same, our melancholy developes pretty much in the same ways, too. Basically, my brother is walking on my past path. When he vented, he told me so and so and asked if I could understood him. I felt sorry and powerless in giving him more comfort because I have never been well out of her negativity and complaints. Her negativity is like a big magnet keeping us closely attached. The gravity is so great that nomatter how hard we attempt to pull away, it will drag us back to the very beginning and cause our endeavors in vain.
I know I can't give up trying. The gene will be carried down to next generation, if I don't make any changes. Things work better for me because I seek helps from self-helped book once in a while to pull myself out of negativity. I think, the thinking pattern is changable. Hard, though!! But definitely changable!
One theory I learned from those books says that: "Language is powerful, if one hopes for something good to happen, positive language will lead one to it." I believe what it says!!
I tried a few times and they all worked out well. Positive language has power to bring one's mind in activating one's action. It really can make something nice you wish for comes true.
Even though, I keep the faith in believing the possibility of changing thinking patterns and knowing what positive language might lead my life to be. I, sometimes, still hold doubts on those who are being overly positive in every aspect of their lives. I would, at that moment, ask myself: "Am I too negative and judgmental or are they thinking too highly of themselves?"
That's really confused and contracditory!! I long to change into someone brighter, but when I hear one talks too well of him/herself. I would secretly wonder: " You!! / Are you sure?"
Take my hubby's family for example. They were born to be optimistic (because my mom-in-law is very good at sweet talks) and very content to the surroundings and encounters they have and meet. They are very grateful to the family they were born in. The spouses they own, the kids they're raising!!
I am sure, I was attracted to this trait of my hubby. I vaguely remember how I was amazed to his brightness.
Whenever he mentions his family; he would say, "My mom's cooking is incomparable. My bro-in-law is smart and tentative. My elder sister is good at hosting.....blah blah blah." (Later, I found out that there are always certain degrees of incongruity.)
I always feel a bit uncomfortable about it !! His sises, my in-laws are the same as well. Everytime we meets, I will have to listen to their highly compliment about their husbands or kids.
"Don't you think my hubby is wonderful? Everyone says he is smart, a really good husband and a father. I am really lucky to have him. Isn't he handsome or what!"
What wrong with me? I know I suppose to appreciate the good aura they create, to fill me good words in the ears. Is it healthy to be like this? Isn't it a bit annoying to hear nothing but good words, nice words and praises? Or am I too deeply abused by foul language?
I guess that was how I was fooled into the love trap my hubby set. Because he says nice things about me too! He likes to say how attractive I am. ( I feel so bloated and ugly of myself though) How sexy I am. ( That's something I never thought me to be) He likes my voice, too!! ( only this is something that I later found out some men were attracted to my voice. Weird!! I do think my voice has some power to attract audience in listening to me.)
Well....I had never been treated like that before I met my hubby. No one ever told me how well I did. They only told me what I should have done more! My mom only said how wrong I was for not doing this and that. So, before, if I heard someone praised me for what I achieved or how I was, I told myself they were just being polite in saying so. I didn't take compliments seriously ori would get suspicious of their intention in saying so.
Oh! ~~It is so painstaking.
Keep the faith!!