2006-11-06

Can't Sleep!

Agnosticism
***********************
How should I know who's the target to be?
Is there a mark? Some sort of coincidence? Or my heart to follow?
From thousands passer-bys,
with endless sparkles that shine, who will be one to lit the fire?
The fire not be the fire that rocks, nor the one that flames hard,
but the fire that'll last forever!
How could I activate the power?
Will two souls draw to each other like Yin and Yang?
Or will they flow naturally into one like a big band river?
Who controls this power of mystique?
Or does it simply act on its own out of the nature's order?
Life is as agnostic as Agnosticism is to be~

2006-11-03

Vicky's last Day

Don't know why people change their jobs so often, we've been saying farewell to people every month. Many business change incredibly fast in Taiwan, no one is willing to give her/is job a try to see how far and well it might be developed into! The whole business ecology in Taiwan gives people a great pressure to success in a short time, so it isn't difficult to meet someone who might have been in different fields as a salesperson, but s/he could hardly know the essense of the business s/he was into.
This is Vicky, once, our sales representative. We are both Sagittarius and share a lots in common. Sometimes, I just tell people how I should be less candid and genuine to the new comers because when you started getting close to them, they are about to say "Goodbye."
Of course, that's how life is all about! You carry on your own with your friendship with them survive somehow in other forms. Maybe not as close as before, but definately goes on with the good memories you've built. Also, you will continue your life meeting new people and be their friends.





Tall Vicky is about 5 feet 9. I have to wear 3 inches high heels to get close to her.







She complaint about her round face and thought it would look smaller by pulling her face a bit distance from mine.












This is Miya Jan. A man with a good nature and is very romantic. He bought a bouquet of flowers to Vicky to say good bye to her.






But, a moment slipped away! He has turned into a BIG BAD WOLF~
(Sgebe Miya Jan, dirty Japanese man)
Many behaviors of him could have become a potential harrassement lawsuit in Western culture. Ha~~~
I once threaten to cut his finger off!
Though, I know most of his behaviors are harmless.




Nick Chong and Me.
Born in States, Father is Chinese, Mother's ancestry from Spanish and Phillipine. Nick looks either Chinese nor Phillipino.

I am wondering how people adopt their identities, if their parents are from totally irrelevant cultural backgrounds.
Do they adopt their mothers or fathers?



I think, they should adopt both!
But when I asked Nick the question.
He said, he doesn't have an identity.
He is always like that! Being a thick-faced and making bad jokes about himself.
Sometimes people asked him why he is an American, because their sterotype is Americans are either Black or White.
Nick would say, he is a mutt. I know how unpleasant it sounds and I can't deny sometimes I name him with it. But it is the thing I have with Nick, and he wouldn't take it personally!

2006-11-01

Feeling Obligated to But Unable to

I was occupied by different things around me recently that kept me away from spending time on my blog! The primary event was one family issue that still now ongoing. My brother and I were against my mom for the decision she made. Since my mom only has me and my brother, she has no ally to support her and my dad is the issue we were arguing about. But it is too private and so I have no intention to talk about that here.

Also, I am reading an incredibly long novel called, "Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell by Susanna Clarke." It is a long novel over 1000 pages and is known as one of the best magician books after Harry Potter. The writing style is more like Gothic and Jane Austine. So, I think it might take me forever to finish the book.
I am curious about the story and have made up my mind to find out what it is about!
I love reading stories or knowing stories or even just listening to them. (Perhaps I was destined to be a literature major!) The only flaw of me reading stories is that I never remember the name of the book or the author or even the names of the characters well. But I can definately tell the same story over and over again without missing the great parts. I know~~~
My dad is the one that helps develop my interest over literature (story). Still remember when audio books weren't that many or popular, I was like 3 0r 4. I had many cassettess that told stories. (Please excuse me for blahing away)

You know, that's the thing~
Not posting stuff on my blog makes me feel a bit anxious! That's what commitment is about. Before I opened this blog, I spent a few days considering in every way and asked myself question why I needed a blog in my life. And finally, I gave myself a simple reason: so I could get a place to whine~~Ha~No, actually, I was thinking about using it to practice my English. (Am I?)

Well, commitment... when you commit to something, it would become part of you, either part of your responsiblity or part of your life that needs your nourishment to make it alive.
That's why I always think carefully before commiting to something. Such as, signing a signature; when you sign one, it means you have to responsible for what you do and can't not change your original purpose of doing it!
Or like, attending a course you choose for youself. (I tried not to be too capricious on the attendance, but I skipped tonight!)

Anyway, I'm here typing away, instilling my life on this blog with a little spirit of me.
I got a new hair cut that I've been showing it off to people. But I don't know how to downsize the file of the photos and can't post them on the blog. Last Friday, they held a Holloween Party in the language center where I worked. Those clients and I were like crazy taking pitures around in different wierd poses. Everyone (not me) has a digital camera to practise their skills with. In different angles, settings and postures. Ugly but fun~

While other people are devoting their lives to the academic knowledge or the issues of Politic or Economics or even working hard to make money.
I am the one that wandering around with nothing productive at hand!
A dead woman walking alive!

2006-10-22

Digging My Own Grave--- I Have a Confession to Make

I got involved in something that I shouldn't have. If I knew thing would turn out like this, I wouldn't have let the secret out!!!
It was all because of my curiosity. If I wasn't being so curious and digged the secret out with Vicky~~~
Now I feel sorry for Miss J.
From her story, I've assumed that she had finally seen through what she had been into and could start her new life again.
But the thing is that she hasn't quite seen through what happended and still stuck in it.
I think, the only solution to the question relies on Time for the answer!!
No one can really help her but herself!
I really hope she can get better soon.
And I'm really sorry for being too inquisitive~~

2006-10-20

The Devil Wears Prada, Were We All Born with Materialistic Genes?

On Wednesday night, in my Chinese Teaching class, we heard something from our teacher mentioned about how 'Jelly' is banned in the list of Priests' food. Because when Jelly trembles, it gives away an implication image of women's buttocks.
Can anybody believe that? I do~
It tells that we, human beings, were born with desires. When our basic desire needs are fed. We search for something greater to fulfill the desires, some choose spirituality over materialism or vice versa.

Metrial satisfaction is a great tempting goal that many of us are reaching hard for.

Tonight, I went to the movie theater seeing, "The Devil Wears Prada."

I don't know why I always feel like to talk more whenever I saw a movie, but my guess is that, a movie is like a graphic book projecting the essense of what books are trying to tell. Although, we can appreciate beautiful sentences when reading a book, but by watching the movie, with the way the director leads the audience, we can pretty much be struck with the same feeling as when we read the books. (Okay, I know, how much it souds like I try to find myself an excuse for not reading books~)

I'll skip the summary of the movie here. But, overall, I was thinking the ending of the moive that how many women can walk away and give up a job that provides a million chances for a brighter future ahead in the fashion world like Andy Saches was in (The character in the movie)?

It is true that many of us take spiritual fulfillment as the primary center of life. Thinking that how we should make our souls smarter than others!
But the realistic part of the world is, without the glamorous looking and clothing, you would have been turned down already by many opportunities that might provide you with a better future.
People view your appearacne first then your brain! With a pretty look, you would have successfully made your first step to your dream in life.


I don't know how serious the materialitic values affects Western world? Because, westerners who are in Taiwan appeare to be a group of people that only care about enjoying their lives and fulfill them with music, art and recreation! More spritual-oriented than us Taiwanese.

In Taiwan, we are deeply influeced by the value of Materialism. I couldn't recall how many times, a bunch of us, older 20 somethings were talking about the values of those young 20 somethings and teens.

Our new generation is audacious in enjoying their lives with the expensive brand names on them. They haven't start making the livings yet to know how difficult and competivie the society is now in Taiwan. However, they have started using the money from their parents to beautify their lives and are not afraid of doing so. Sometimes, I couldn't deny that I was impressed by how well their senses of tastes were. They know how to dress up to their own styles, wear the perfect makeups that cover all the blemishes on the face, great at doing their own hair styles and very opinionated on the ways thier lives should be. I am talking about both male gender and female gender.They do know and care much about thier looks and understand the importance of one's appearance to the opportunity that society might have provided.

However, this overly emphasize on one's appearance has made our new generation neglect their absorbency in knowledge and forgot that the key to success requires more than one's look.
I am sure that tourists from other countries in Taiwan would be shocked by our young people wearing not only the brand names but many of them carry a brand name purse or handbag.
You would have no idea how scary it is to see LV, Cucci, Prada, CD flying around in not only in the fancy restaurants but the supermarkets and in schools.
Of course, many of them carry piracy ones. Sometimes, I would stop and wonder how many of them were really from rich families and how many of them were not.
(We do have many rich people in Taiwan, but most people are not~)

Perhaps to some people around me, they would consider me as the 'somehow' material girl. The thing is that who would want to look old, dress poorly at my age? I can't deny that I have a wardrobe to let out my secret desire, but I bought them with the money I earned not from my parents ~~~ Besides, I do care about feeding my head with food from time to time.

Another interesting issue that movie brought up is that: Is it neccessary to turn your back on someone for the success?
At some points, I think, YES~~~
Though the movie euphemized the ending with a friendly gesture, but I think, when people are on their ways to the better chances, there are times that you have to give up or sacrifice something, someone at some points.

2006-10-16

Why do we desire something that is always hard to get?

I read an article from magazine today talked about how people's brains would produce 'Dopamine' when people craved for something they wanted. This chemical from brain would excite people to focus on hunting down their goals. Moreover, when some barriers occured keeping people from reaching their goals, brains would release more 'Dopamine' and which would enhance people's concentration on thier goal-huntings! This articale ended up with a conclusion explained why some women always craved for men that were already in relationships and vice versa, men were like that as well~

An object that is hard to get but makes people craving to death~~

I am thinking, could this craving for something or someone that is hard to get , merely be the curiosity of people?
The objects that arouse people's curiosity, but the feeling be mistakenly taken as the attraction?
So, for those who desire other people's BFs or GFs; could they only feel curious about other people's seem-to-be-good partners, but be attracted to?

It is quite possible because according to the ariticle, it mentioned that when the 'Desire' took place, brain would become irrational to keep people away from considering the realistic aspect. Since the chemical would make your brain superfocus on the things you are pursuing! It blinds the practical aspects of things that could be obvious to observe around you.

People get confused with their curiosity to the feeling of attraction that could produce something else such as lust and love.

Mmm.........interesting~~~~
I am haunted by this question my friend gave me. Still seeking an answer to it~~~ Not yet knowing a better way to put it down it words!

(Oh! Why do I always need more time to express myself in words?)

2006-10-13

Chinese Teaching---Practice Two

I've been attending the Chinese Teaching extension course in school for 4 weeks now. So far, I'm still learning the Chinese Pinyin (Spelling). Don't know if our teacher will share more of her Chinese teaching experience?



Practice 2---What's your name?

**Fu Xi (Review)**

1. Wo (I/my/me)
2. Ni (You/your/your)
3. Ta (She/her/her--He/his/his)




**Sheng Zi (New Words)**

1. sheme (what)
2. mingzi (name)
3. jiaozuo (called)


**Ju Xing (Sentence Pattern)**

1. Ni jiaozuo sheme mingzi?----------What is your name?
Wo jiaozuo Ginger. ----------------------I am Ginger.


2. Ta jiaozuo sheme mingzi?-------- What is his/her name?
Ta jiaozuo Huizhen.-----------------Her name is Huizhen.


3. Wo jiaozuo sheme mingzi? ---------What is my name?
Ni jiaozuo Ginger. -------------------Your name is Ginger.

2006-10-10

A "New" Ending to~~~~~

The Ocean Blue
****************************************************************
Isla Ku, the Beautiful Blue
Where I long to be to refresh new
But it has a past that no one knew
The more I get to know it, the more, the truth to find not cute
Though it is waiting for the timing to reboot
Still the news makes me feel blue
Beautiful Blue, Beautiful Blue
May you always be one, which beauty stays in forever blue!
_______________________________________________________
P.S. The reasons I took this post off were because I was still considering the ending line and some words in it. Also I wasn't so sure about the words "Isla Ku" and its meaning. I did this piece of work out of a sudden feeling. I did try to look it up in the dictionary though. I just couldn't put something down in words that I wasn't so sure about~~ :)
Maybe I was right about what I thought though~

Self-recognition, Self-Values and Personal Identity

As usual, I hung out with co-workers after work and came home late at night!
Also, like before, we were gossipping others, ourselves and events that happened in the company. And.....again, I felt that there was something I want to express but couldn't say before them.
Getting along with people requires a great technique concerning one's EQ and IQ! You have to decide what you can share and what you can't in order to keep the friendship going.
While we were sharing our studies, Jess made a comment that my major wasn't realistic and unpractical. It was probably true that using a literature major to make one's own living couldn't be much a help. But, I knew how it would enrich my spiritual life and how being a theoretical mind could help me to know myself more.
From our conversation, I realized that people, either men or women are all successively trying hard to find their own places, their own values.

Men were born as a more priviledge gender and have no identity problem for being males. Once the gender identification is clear, what they need is the recognition from the society.
Some search for their own identification and self-values through Politics and compete between themselves for a higher, more respectable status in the society.
Some others are seaching their through a different way.

Like Donny, my potential gay co-worker. I've known him for 4 years and never one day had doubt that he could be gay.
Being homosexual in Taiwan is not like one being in Western country. Especially, if you were born as a male gender that people expected you to be family-responsible for carrying on the family lineage. Even working in a open-minded place like we do, Donny has never admitted in any way around that he is gay. But from the time we shared, all evidence has pointed him with this very inclination.

He is now a graduate student in Tourism. He said, he'd like to do the research on 'The traveling patterns for those who are homosexual! and How they would consider their destinations when going on vacations?'

Also, he talked about how he always felt short when competed with others that were graduated from the universties abroad! (I feel the same way, too! It is all about working-ecology we have here in Taiwan. Taiwanese who graduated from the universities abroad have better chances to get higher hourly pay and they somehow despise people like us. Because we learn our English in Taiwan and have no experience study abroad)

Then, our conversation difted off to one of our coworker, who was from India, but he told our clients that he was from England. How pathetic!
Why couldn't he be honest to who he really was? He has dark skin and most of the time people here recognize him as a Black.
He wasn't the only case, I know. Like what I've mentioned before, there were some Taiwanese coworkers of mine who told people either they were from America or Canada.

Maybe our people who study English in the language center don't know much about western cultures, even though they were all so rich to have been to many countries in the world. But their myth about foreigner in Taiwan are still believing that they are all from the well-developed western countries. Someone like my Indian coworker could have be looked down if he told people he was from India. So, I couldn't judge too much about why he hid his identity.

There were many times when people asked me how I'd learned my English. They thought that my English was good and didn't have much accent compare to others.
When people asked me that, I would start struggling in my heart. I know well, they believe people couldn't have spoken good English if they didn't study abroad. But the thing was I never did. Still, I would tell them the truth that I never had studied abroad. When they got the answer, they would ,first, be surprised and asked me how I'd done that, then there was this paltry, tiny reaction coming out from their eyes that made me felt uncomfortable and very insecure. The thing is, I can't face myself if I denied myself with the part that I really am. I'm proud of how I am even though I never had the experience that people expected.

It is the same as Donny, he is working hard and studying hard in trying to prove to others that he is smart and capable of things as the way he is.

Everyone deserves to be happy and feels content of who s/he is!
Many people are trying hard to recognize themselves without realizing that!
To those who are self-conscious enough to their own identification, are still in the soul-searching quests for a never end.

2006-10-09

Brain Dead

Being brain productive isn't something I've accomplished recently. My mind is always somewhere else when I'm teaching, talking to friends or people around me. What was I thinking about really? For example, I was thinking about what to post on my own blog? When I had a topic or thing that I would like to say in my mind, I started thinking how I should construct it into a piece of article, then many times the things just went nowhere because somehow, I decided the thing that I was thinking in my mind wasn't rich enough or boring to talk about. But it is my blog, you know~~~ Couldn't I just post things I want without worrying about others?
Then, it's that I tried read some books recently! But I just couldn't focus on the one I was reading and my mind would flow away from the lines I was reading from the books, it would lead to another string of thinking related to the lines or not even related~~~
Anyway, I feel that I am sort of stupid lately.
The only thing I've accomplished is filling up my wardrobe with the all kinds of items I purchased these days.
Cosmetics, clothing, accessories, more cosmetics, bags and shoes.......
I was literally becoming a shopaholic~~~~~Gee~~~ (But if I am, then maybe all women are shopaholics!)
It is really like an addiction. But it didn't make me feel any happier or fulfilled, I feel very empty and think I need more items for different purposes.

While women in some countries are still taken as men's properties or in some others, women couldn't even reveal their looks by convering up with veil.
Women in Taiwan are way luckier! We are treated with less sexual discrimination. Maybe some countrysides, some men still have conservatives concepts about women. But, generally speaking, women are treated fairly well as one gender. But something else has became a burden of being a woman.
How to always stay young and spicy women? Many women are so beautiful here~ Higher percentage of women are becoming more self-conscious and knowing they deserve things better by pampering themselves with all differents treatments. They keep their figure fit ~~~Doing SPA, working out~~~ Doing yoga. They all eager in learning the tips of fashion on how to dress up into different styles.
Walking on the streets in Taipei or Taichung. What you will see are lots of hot spicies with great stylish outfits and creative fashion senses.
Such an competitive environment has made women become their own competitors on the gender issue.
Often time, I just feel myself being bulky and ugly among them!
It is not like that I didn't do anything to make myself a better looking. It is just that being in such an competitive environment, you'd never able to top on someone else because the fact is that you're getting older day after day.
It becomes a vicious circle somehow that you're pursuing a goal without an end.
I'd better give myself some time to do or read something and try to be productive in mind!
Or else I would have to change the title of this blog into something else~

2006-10-04

A Ghost that haunts me from getting to the future~~~

為什麼? 你總是在最不該出現的時候出現呢? 每當我期待著對未來的可能性時,你總是會在這時候出現來使我想起我那不堪的過去!
我為什麼要讓曾重重傷害我的人,來過問我的生活? 這不是太諷刺了嗎?
我只想把這過去拋的遠遠的,想著我可能的未來.期待著~~ 我未來的另一半會好好的疼惜我, 愛我~~~
How could I get to the future when the past is haunting me at the present?

2006-09-30

Chinese Teaching ----Practice One

Sheng-Zi (New Words)

1. Wo (I)
2. Ni (You)
3. Ta (He/She)
4. Hao (Good/ Well/ Fine)


Ju-Xing (Sentense Pattern)


1
Ni hao ma? -----How are you?
Wo hen hao.----- I am fine.

2
Ta hao ma?----- How is he/ she?
Ta hen hao. -----S/he is fine.

2006-09-29

Wo jue de hen gu-du~~~

You shi ho zhen de hen gu-du, ke-shi zhe zhong shi you bu ke-yi yi-zhi fang zai zui-bian shuo de.
Bu xiao de, lao-tian-ye shui xing le mei?
Zhi bu Zhi-dao wo hen gu-du ne?
Xiang bu xiang kai-shi bang wo qian yuan-fen le mei?
Wo jue de zi-ji de qing-chun yi-tian yi-tian de lao chu le, ke-shi zi-ji hai shi gu-ling-ling de yi ge.
Ai~~~~gai lai de ru guo zhen de hui lai, wei-she-mo hai bu gan-kuai lai ne?

2006-09-27

Ginger's Ramblings

I read a news about 'Ho Wenyong' the other day. He is a famous writer in Taiwan and I used to read his works when I was a teenager.

Recently, there are series called, "The Hospital" brocasting on TV. It is the program adapted from Ho Wenyong's work. Before he became a famous writer, he was also an outstanding anesthestist in Taiwan National Univeristy Hospital, one of the biggest hospitals in Tawain. After working as both for many years, he had decided to quit his job as a doctor and dedicated in writing.

It was always his works about his wife or his philosophy of life that attracted me. He would talk about his life experience and his expression was always funny and humorous. His novels from recent years are very different from his early works. They are deep and somehow would bring you into the dark-side of human beings and that scares me! The more you know about the dark-side of human hearts, the more powerless you would feel over youself to the world you're living.

Well..the news was about his response to people who read his novel "The Hospital" and people who watch the TV series.

Ho Wenyong, in the interview, used a simile to explain that many people live their lives like going on vacations with tours. They follow some tour guides to some popular spots and look around for what people regarded as the hot sightseeing spots and out!
They follow in and out! None of their personal opinions or views are involved in their own lives.

Of course, you would probably think: "It isn't true. Some did make differences."
Yes, some did make changes by having thier own ideas to their lives, but when they were making those differences, didn't they maybe, somehow follow the rules under the system of the world?

If someone didn't follow the rules of system to make her/is change about her/is view to her/is life, then s/he would probably end up miserably as a outcast and couldn't survive through.

Therefore, here comes the ending to Ho Wenyong's own theory, though he encouraged reader to be their own viewers and judges to their lives. He still reminded everyone not to stand agaist the system and the social rules too much. (Isn't that paradoxical?)

The news about him relates me to another issue that alwasy makes me feel trapped in, which is, "Determinsm and Free Will." There isn't an accurate result or answer so far, to the question of whether the lives of human beings are determined or maybe we could really have our own free wills to decide our lives in the ways we want. It is because there are still 'morality' and 'social rules' that get involved in the Free Wills that we're making. Mmm......this is too much for me to think right now.

I like Ho Wenyong and after so many years, when I read the news about him. I couldn't believe that I still have this same admiration that I had for him long ago when I was a teenager.
Time goes by, I am now older and he definately has became more mature over time. I still have this consent over what he has made about philosophy of life.
(It surprised me a lot !) But I guess he has this wisdom and sensitivity in him that attracts me.

Not so many men are like this! And~~ I'm longing for one to be around!
This sort of trait in man gives me a sense of security somehow.
Because...................

In the ancient time, when women were not allowed to receive education. Men who received education were considered Intellectuals and they had devided into two catogories.
One was called, "Wen-Ren" the other was called, "Wu-Jian."
'Wen-Ren" means those who were artisitic, poetic, and able to write politically or artisitically.
On the contrary, "Wu-Jian" represented those who were either smart or not, but definately able to fight well in the battlefield.

And I would like to have the first kind than the second one.
Maybe it is because that's how I wish myself to live spiritually and therefore, I want one to tango with.

2006-09-24

Who are We Inside Our hearts?

From Strangers to Ourselves----by Julia Kristeva


Strangely, the foreigner lives within us: he is the hidden face of our identity, the space that wrecks our abode, the time in which understanding and affinity founder. By recognizing him within ourselves, we are spared detesting him in himself. A symptom that precisely turns "we" into a problem, perhaps makes it impossible. The foreigner comes in when the consciousness of my difference arises, and he disappears when we all acknowledge ourselves as goreigners, unamenable to bonds and communities.

2006-09-18

A Secretive Image--Men with Facial Hair

Today I was teaching and suddenly I had a very strange idea and started wondering why men wanted to grow facial hair? What kind of men would grow facial hair on them?????

It was because I had a student who looked so young, had a goaty and married. I've met him a few times in my class and he had this look that left me wondered why men were trying to hide behind their facial hair features?

Actually, I know a few men who have goatee or beard on them. In our culture, men don't ususally grow them. One is because, maybe they don't have that much to grow it into a style, another reason is because Taiwanese women like men better without it. Most of my female friends thought Men look dirty on them. (Okay, when somebody makes a statement like this, you would know this one is an exception!)

Mmmm.......I can't deny that whenever there is a group of men in front of me, the one who gets my attention would be the one that has facial hair on him. Either with a goatee or a beard. I don't know why, but it always seems to arouse my curiosity and would like to get closer to reveal the real him.

One of my coworker, a Japanese, he has a thin goaty on his face. I think, he has a very stylish look, very Japansese. Thick, straight eyebrows with his fierce eyes and his thin goatee. When he stares at you, it makes you feel like you are stared by a Husky. Scary~~ But, in fact, he is a very nice and thoughtful coworker and funny, too.

There is another one, also a student of mine, a middle-aged artist. He paints traditional Chinese paintings, oil paitings and makes bronze sculture. One time in class, I asked him what he liked about himself. He said: "I liked my art and my goatee." He likes to talk about "Zen" and his artwork, a very artistic man, also very nice, senstive too. Recently, he has an exhibition and invites me to go.

I once had a friend. (We fell apart now!) He is a baldy who grows a goatee. A very smart guy who always seems to read through people's mind. He knows people and has this nice and friendly image, but he is not as nice as he seems to be.
The more I got to know him, the more I found out his insincere and ambiguous attitude toward others. Of course, he treated me the same way, that was why we fell apart because I coulnd't stand my friend treat me like that.

Well... I know another man with a beard, but I don't know much about him yet! So there isn't much I can tell now~~


Anyway here are the conclusions from my observation of men who grow facial hair-------

a. They have baby faces and try to cover that with a manly feature.

b. They are potential baldy or baldy already who grow facial hair to distract people's attention.

c. They have aggressive mind, but were born with tender looks, so, try to use stylish goatee or beard to enhance their characteristics.

d. They are manipulating and cunning and try to hide that part of them under their disguise.

e. They are too nice and tender, thus growing facial hair to make people believe they are manly enough!

These are my personal views! Of course, I've made those statements not only according to the observation I made from my friends, but also from others I don't know!

One common feature on men who grow facial hair is, they have big and beautiful smiles. (Well...maybe not everybody, but at least the men I know are like that)

2006-09-16

One Morning in the Autumn

Moon River
by
Andy Williams
***********************************************************
Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're going, I'm going your way
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end,
waiting around the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me
(moon river, wider than a mile)
(I’m crossin’ you in style some day)
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're going, I'm going your way
Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We're after that same rainbow's end,
waiting around the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me
(moon river, moon river)

I miss the time......on......

The weather in Taiwan is getting cooler and cooler. It is officially in Fall right now. The temperature in the day time is still as high as in the summer time. Only when the sun goes down, will people feel the cool breeze.
Though, I love the days with sunshine, the summer time in Taiwan is so hot that burns sometimes. The life style here only stress people up and it's hard to slow people down to relax.

I miss the ocean so much. Blue sky, blue water..... Still remember me lying on the Hanauma Bay tossing around with my bikini.Mmmmm.........
Fall, a season that reminds people of Departure! (Is it a Eastern thing or an universal thing?)

Tonight, we hugged and said goodbye to Karen, the front desk receptionist.
She was the second one that left us this month! It will be a long long story to tell why people leave the place I work.
I've worked in this English Learning Center for nearly 4 years. I've seen people come and go many times, People that I got along with, people that I didn't get along with. There were people who left with happy endings, we held fareware parties for them. At the same time, there were some that left without being cared or saying goodbyes.

The same question has haunted me over and over again. What will it be, if I leave one day? Will I be missed? Will they feel sad when I leave?
I'm moving my territory out of this learning center by taking some part time job at another learning center. It is a must! I need to put my eggs in different nest to secure my living. (Something is going wrong with the place I work now!)

Well...it is very late now. I'm thinking too much again.
Maybe it is the cool weather that.............

2006-09-13

Life without being a Colony. Still, Recognition is no Where to be Seen.

I always believe that reading is powerful because it helps stimulate your thinking into a different aspect.
After reading "Life in Colonies, and the Lies of Facts and the Truths of Fiction" by Minagahet. I couldn't help but think about the situation in Taiwan, and the Identity Problem here that would, somehow, never have an outlet to any solution.
There is an protest going on in Taipei since Sep.9th,2006. A group of people can't stand the scandal that our President and his family are involved and eagerly to urge him to step down from his position. Ostensibly, it is a justice that needs to be fought for. I mean, who could put up with a corrupted President? I do believe, some of the protestants are there simply because they dislike the corrupted President. However, the most likely inclination for those protestants to be there is because of one reason. Which is, to prove their representative status in Politics.
(I have to explain the political situation first, of course. The are two major forces in Taiwan. Green Party and Blue Party. Now, Taiwan is govern by the Green Party. The Blue one is like Republic Party in States and the Green one is like Demoractic. For the similairity, I refer to the consistent of people. The politicians from Blue Party are from somewhat rich or prestigious families, on the other hand, many Politicians from Green Party are either from labor families or gangsters groups)
Taiwan is an island that was once colonized by Holland and Japan for a long time. The colonial time of Holland in Taiwan was long long time ago. One hundred or 2 hundreds years ago. Too long ago to remember!
But 50 years ago, Taiwan was still governed by Japan. People over 65 years olds had experienced that time. (Like both of my grandparents spoke Japanese and received Japanese Education) Many of elders who are still alive, missed the time then. They said, although, Japanese deprived our language by forcing us to speak Japanese and had Japanese names, at least, people at that time were well-behaved and crime rate was much lower compare with now. ( 2 of my aunts and my dad have Japanese names)

Taiwan was soon, taken over by the mainlanders (people) from China after Japanese's govern. There was a civil war in China and the leader of the Blue Party was defeated by communist and so, he led soilders and their families, moved to Taiwan and would like to use Taiwan as a base, in hope of one day to regain his power in China. So, baiscally Taiwan was govern by Blue Party (the only party in Politcs ) at that time for many many years. This group of people try to invade their mythological-kind of idea to people in Taiwan and created a beautiful image that ,one day, we would overthrow China's power and take China back into our hand.

This big group of people came to Taiwan and taken over the political authority and forbidden the local people that were living here for a long time to speak Taiwanese (there were immigrants from the coast of China hundreds of years ago and aboriginal people that were living in the mountains.) Moreover, there was a historical event called 228, it was a terrorism from the Blue Party, in which, they had killed many intellectuals, artists, doctors. The government accused them for something that didn't exist and killed them.
Green Party was arised later to stand in a position of making Taiwan an independent country and aroused people's counsciousness to thier identities.
Green Party took a long time to make people in Taiwan realized that, we never belong to China and we are always indepedent somehow, and thus we need our name to be heard as a country but a province of China.

So, what has this part of history to do with the protest that is ongoing in Taipei right now?

For many famous faces on TV who speak for the protestants, either the politicians, lawmakers etc. They are all from the Blue Party. Many of them are either the offspring of the old Blue politicians or the offspring of the mainlanders. (Of course, it is obvious that Blue Party hates Green Party gut for their authority right now!) Those politicians or famous faces on TV in protest are all about middle-aged and they were deeply rooted with the idea of thinking to unite with China and build a good relationship with China.
So.the contest between mainlanders and locals are still ongoing somehow there in the protest.

Well..... I am off my topic again~
Anyway,
The youngsters in Taiwan don't see themsevles either the offspring of the mainlanders or locals. They don't care about that so much, we (young people) see ourselves as Taiwanese. But our identities are in crisis without being realized.
First, the politics is nver off the issue of the conflict bewteen the two national groups. (Locals v.s Mainlanders). It creates a very blur image to help young people to build thier identities as Taiwanese. Young people want to live peacefully without the tags of mainlanders or locals in Taiwan. But, remember, the parents of the young people are already middle-aged, their parents were raised with the deep-rooted identities of who they were. The domestic education of young people, unconsciously influence them without them knowing it.

This is why I don't like to talk about politics with my friends, all of my best friends are from the mainlander family and I am not. Not only my best friends, but also some of my coworkers and clients. They sometimes, uncousciously talked about Politics openly and the opinions of them, sometimes, accidentally
shaken my idea of who I am.

Who am I then? What political position do I take?

I am neither Green nor Blue. (Maybe, more Green color than Blue)
I am proud of being a Taiwanese and able to speak three language that are mainly spoken here in Taiwan.
I believe Taiwan is well-developed enough to be an indepedent country.
I would never want to unite or get close to China.
I don't like many Blue party politicians who think they have better lineage (like that they are pure blood and others are muggles) and smarter of knowing what's the best for Taiwan. As now, many of them are eargerly to get close to China and try to make peace with them.

Okay, then what's the second point of the crisis that we're facing.
The political chaotic status has made Taiwan a place that no other countries dare to make friends with.
We are smart and know how to do business around the world. We are powerful in produce many things that no other country can compete with. But besides the money and the fame we have in doing business. We are not taken seriously outside Taiwan.
I didn't realize this much until the trip to Hawaii. I had a good memory there, only 2 events that I would never forget.
I was at DFS with my friend, Arial. We were stopped by the doorman at the entrance. The conversation was as below----
"Are you with the tour group?" "No!"
"Are you Japanese? " "No!"
Then, he gave us the pass that were only allowed to shop at the first and the second floor. I was with a shitty face and ended up without buying anything at that mall.

Another event happened at one day, we were having breakfast in the hotel with all other participants in the ball room. We sat at a table with 2 men, one from New York, the other from China. The guy from New York tried to make a conversation with us. When the China guy knew us were from Taiwan. He kept interrupted the conversation bewtween New Yorker and we by saying who he knew from our school and things that he knew about Taiwan. It was like he had the right to represent of who we were! (I was murmuring some foul words in my heart)


What's more than the treatment Taiwanese receive abroad is that------
There are many times, I feel so sorry for some youngsters in Taiwan because they are too lucky to be protected under the wings of their parents. People who are rich getting richier and people who are poor getting poorer.
The kids from the rich families only know about money and the good quality of life they have. Many of them received education abroad and come home telling people they are Canadian, British or American.
I've met some of my coworkers who studies abroad a long time, come back to Taiwan teaching English and proclaim to be Aussie or Canadian.
They feel ashamed of being Taiwanese!!! Can anybody believe this?
The rest of the young people who remain in Taiwan for thier lives are suffering in the environment which political state is always swinging between the two sides.

What is the identity of poeple in Taiwan?
Without being colonized, the recognition is still no where to be seen. Or perhaps we are lost in this massive blur of cultural, historical background that we had?

I still remembered what the teacher said in the colonial study I took 2 years ago. He said, " Every Taiwanese should share a consent to recognize her/is root here, but search and build their identities individually!"