Mom called me one afternoon to remind me of what I should remember to prepare for the prayer. Going to the temple on certain days is a ritual in many Taiwanese families.
Before, my mom would do everything for the family.
She knows every particular date. Dates to set food to worship the ancestor, dates for grandparents' dead birthdays. When to go to temples to pray, what to prepare, how to say your prayer to Gods.
This year, she called to make sure that I did the same. Only it was for my own sake!
Conventionally, we make extra prayers according to the Chinese year we have.
I am a horse. And I need to make extra prayer this year.
Getting older decreases my mom's memory and she called me several times to remind me of the steps that I should notice and follow. Actually, I was a little bit annoyed by her phone call at first, thinking how stupid it was to do it under certain form. I'd alreday got my ideas and had decided to do it my way! I thought, it was a prayer to God, in which that would only require nothing but your whole-hearted sincerity. So, I was annoyed to be forced to do the ways she considered it right! However, I didn't say much to my mom this time, didn't show her how annoyed I was ! I just said I would do it and hung up.
I understand her mind, knowing that she wants me to learn all this convention stuff because now I am married and soon in a few years, I will have my own kids and it is important that I carry on the tradition. That's my mom's expectation of what a good married woman is like.
Being a good married woman gains reputation that benefits not only to the woman herself but also to her family as well , for such a great achievement her parents have achieved to bring up a courteous, understanding and measurement-knowing-how daughter !
My mom's expectation, NOT MINE~~
I don't think I can avoid practising rituals in my married life. But I do believe, I have power over the convention I want to adopt and under what forms and pattern I prefer!!