2007-05-30

Walking down to the "Possible" Aisle---Prologue

For the past few weekends, whenever Angus and I were out for dinner, we would stop by the jewelry stores to check on the diamond rings and asked for the prices. (It was a delightful thing to try those beautiful rings on. We aren't that rich to afford a carat, but half a carat is my goal to reach. Hahahah~~)

Weddings cost a lots! So many things to buy and so little money to spend!


When he first took me to the jewlery store, I was so surprised and, for the first time, felt the authencity of this upcoming event!

There was no proposal of this whole event actually!
It was, when he mentioned to me in February of how much his family would like him to settle down earlier. My internal reaction was ---" Are you insane? We are only together for like less than a month? How can I possibily think of that?"

Of course, he wasn't giving me the position to fill in, but was telling me his aim for our relationship. I was repeating "How could I just entrust someone with my life happiness so easily?" in my heart.

And I didn't make up my mind until this Shaman from a temple fortelling her oracles.

Now, you might think Ginger is a silly person to believe in something with no scientific statistics!

Well..... it isn't easy to express myself well enough to the point of the ambiguous conceptions I have over life values and women.

I was a student in English literature for 7 years and the years before that I was a hard-working studnet who had worked my ass off in learning English.

In my studnet life, I was a person who had this dream to wish to be different somehow at some points from the girls that all Taiwanese parents would want thier daughters to be!
I didn't like much of my traditions and customs because their conceptions for women were so limited that I thought no souls should be confined in the bodies of the genders and no one would know for sure on woman's possible achievement!
By learning English, I felt closer to those who have more freedom in building their dreams. I mean, women from advanced Western countries.
I don't think that now~~~~
Anyway, part of me, with the education I received, I am deeply influenced by women liberation in Western countries. But, most in heart, I guess, I am never but a conventional Taiwanese woman who still tries to seek an outlet for those who don't wish to be too traditional.

"Shaman" in Taiwanese culture is believed to be someone who has carried God's mission on helping those who suffer in life matters and need directions for better futures.

In Taiwanese culture, we are totally toaism. Of course, Taiwan is a place with multi-religions.
But, Toaism is more like life practice here than religions. I was raised with such kind of background and in some ways, I am superstitious and believes in some taboos.
Angus thinks it is rediculous to someone like me who has received a master degree but to believe in a shaman who might not even have a high school diploma!

--stay tune---

2007-05-23

Lack of Posting

I got my friend, Miget's email not long ago concerning my lack of posting lately! It is really delightful to know that this blog is read. I should have known better that an open blog online for communication is a responsibility. The ignorance is irrecoverable, I should try to amend it by coming here more often.

But to tell the truth, which is a bit embarrassing to admit, Love has stupefied my brain for the past 4 months. I have lost my insipiration completely! Everything makes me feel so contented and nothing brews in my heart for venting!

One day afternoon, I was enjoying buffet with an old coworker of mine, listening to her nostaligic memory searching of her younger life, which she intended to put down in words on her blog.
Suddendly she mentioned that how her lover now (to whom she met on line) had lost his misogynous ability in wriing (this man had been hurt badly by a woman in his younger life).
This striking point has brought me to realize that how greatly LOVE could be to fill out the empty hearts who had once been considered the most opinionated of all kinds!

Since I fell in love with my boyfriend. Everything has become so chaotic without its routine but no complaint.

Because Angus (My BF) lives in northern part of Taiwan while I am living in the middle part. We only see each other on the weekends. Our weekends together were all about outings, eating-out and visitings friends.


Before, the weekendtime was my time for book reading, TV and sitcoms watching and constant visits to my uncle's house or get-together with cousins and friends.

On the weekdays, which I used to go out with coworkers and friends for relaxing tea time in the afternoon and comforing late night pig out have been replaced with constant phone calls during the day time and long good night talk at night.


I couldn't recall much of the last time being alone by myself staying in bed for my diary!!
Let alone the time to log in Blogger for posting.

Today, after reading Miget's email, I've decided to come up here to put down some words about my forthcoming potential life alteration. I've been thinking about writing it since I got my fortune told. I'd like to put this whole process in record to build up a mirror for a retrospective reflection.
The thing is--------if everything goes well and smooth enough, I will be wedded before the end of 2007.
Angus and I have consented on this future possibility.
However, to get married isn't all about two of us, but the matter between two families~~~~
And that's how I should begin my recording~~~ (to be continued)