Because I said so !

Don't know how to start putting words on this one.
I guess it was the motherhood issue that attracted me at the first place.
There was another recently viewed. Volver by Penelope Cruz.
I love that one better !!
The whole plot is better placed and organized.
Also about motherhood.
A self-helped soul searching, maybe??
I never be able to avoid being attracted by those mother-daughter movies or books.
Not yet a Mom. Definately a mom-well-prepared-in-theory


Married Women-----HOOD

Mom called me one afternoon to remind me of what I should remember to prepare for the prayer. Going to the temple on certain days is a ritual in many Taiwanese families.
Before, my mom would do everything for the family.
She knows every particular date. Dates to set food to worship the ancestor, dates for grandparents' dead birthdays. When to go to temples to pray, what to prepare, how to say your prayer to Gods.
This year, she called to make sure that I did the same. Only it was for my own sake!
Conventionally, we make extra prayers according to the Chinese year we have.
I am a horse. And I need to make extra prayer this year.

Getting older decreases my mom's memory and she called me several times to remind me of the steps that I should notice and follow. Actually, I was a little bit annoyed by her phone call at first, thinking how stupid it was to do it under certain form. I'd alreday got my ideas and had decided to do it my way! I thought, it was a prayer to God, in which that would only require nothing but your whole-hearted sincerity. So, I was annoyed to be forced to do the ways she considered it right! However, I didn't say much to my mom this time, didn't show her how annoyed I was ! I just said I would do it and hung up.
I understand her mind, knowing that she wants me to learn all this convention stuff because now I am married and soon in a few years, I will have my own kids and it is important that I carry on the tradition. That's my mom's expectation of what a good married woman is like.
Being a good married woman gains reputation that benefits not only to the woman herself but also to her family as well , for such a great achievement her parents have achieved to bring up a courteous, understanding and measurement-knowing-how daughter !

My mom's expectation, NOT MINE~~
I don't think I can avoid practising rituals in my married life. But I do believe, I have power over the convention I want to adopt and under what forms and pattern I prefer!!


The incident before Chinese New Year has safely come to the end

Mr. Huang had kept his promise and so, I had visited my parents during Chinese New Year as I'd planned.
We even spent the last two days of the holiday joining a trip with my cousin and extended family

The first-year experience with my in-laws was not as scary as I thought it would be.
There wasn't much emotional swing occured!
The truth was, I was sorrowful for a bit while but the feeling went away quickly for I was too busy to brood it on.

Thing about catering business is, you have to work harder to make more money while others have their days off and have time to spend more money outside their working fields.
So, we were incredibly busy during Chinese New Year. There were piles of different food materials to be prepared.

Carrots, turnips, mushrooms waited to be sliced. Chickens to be cleaned, Fish to be scaled. Lambs to be chopped ! Utensils, napkins and hundreds of plates and bowls.

No time to take a rest because the works never seemed to be done enough!
Orders were placed over the phone calls, one after another, ringing the hooks off.
Some wanted only one or two courses, the other wanted a table.

That was not enough, we had to set a stand in day market to sell the cooked dishes. For many housewives were lazy to prepare the big meal and they would want to buy prepared food.

We spent 5 days with my hubby's family working hard and at the third day, Mr. Huang gave up his own wishful thinking that he wanted to spend the whole holiday with his family and said he would definately keep his promise to me.

I think, if we hadn't been that busy, I would have missed my family so much and felt so sorrowful.
Physical torment is easier to get over with than mental one !!

The incident has come to a happy ending and I appreciate Mr. Huang for keeping his promise.

Marriage life does challenge my feministic belief. Still, I believe there are ways to make my marriage life better in the ways that fit better to my ideals!!!

Keep going Gingie !!!


Let's Wait and See

The first incompatibility in my marriage has temporarily suspended in balance. After the negotiation, we've reached an agreement of my right on parent visitation.
However, no conclusion should be made so far because I still have doubts over the promise.
It is hard to tell what kind of businessman Mr. Huang is?

The process on the negotiating table was ugly, two people who claimed to be in love and took the marraige vow, had fought with the dirtiest words ever.

I think, every argument damages the marriage somehow and becomes irrecoverable. It will leave a hole and accumulate until one day the hole gets so big and breaks the marriage!
No wonder that the divorce rate is so high ! High divorce rate doesn't mean that true love nowaday is cheap or isn't cared by the young people. It only shows that how assertive women have become and that, women no longer want to take any unreasonable repression in marriage.

I won't say that I've won over the conflict with Mr. Huang. It is not about win or lose!
It is about that since Mr. Huang's wife isn't weak in mind, which she has never been. He should know better that it is time to adapt his pace over his old chauvinistic thinking of married women and so he can be lucky to still be married to a smart woman!