Read Your Anxiety Away

When I am under stress. I love to duck back to the world of books. Long stories, short stories, various kinds of fiction that seems to attract my attention and be able to soothe my nerves.

The best part of reading is that its imaginary world gives you a peaceful moment which temporarily makes you forget what you're being through. The downside of it comes when you are about to finish it and when you do, it leaves nothing but a sense of lonliness. Emptiness creeps all over you and haunts you to linger in the fabricated plot for a while until a click from the real world to bring you back to the reality.

Story after story I read, I read my life through author's eye. Each brilliant work brings me the observation and life experience from the author. I mimic my life to the character's for venting, pick up the potential situation, print it in my memory for the unknown future with sensible preparation.


Repeating the Karma

How not to repeat the karma of your own relationship with your mom is to learn how a parent should be when you become one.
Or, maybe, it is better to start learning the knacks earlier when you step into a marriage.

Becoming a man's wife is where you can observe the karma pattern of your mom.
You act like your mom. Copying the ways she treats your dad, saying the same words as she does and using the same vocabs, complaining the same things which you used to think they weren't big deals to nag about.

Nothing is to late to make amendment! Because you are only living together with you fiance.
So, every resentful pattern that leads you back into the karma is amendable!

Living out of the karma is your goal to reach and task to complete as a woman.

I want to be a new woman~~~~~~~~~
A new species of women.
Being a traditional one is not the compromise I can wedge myself into.


Stepping into Mist

There are never signs for you when you are at your turning points of your life. The pathes toward the big changes of one's life just come in seconds with the most unnoticable cover as camouflage. You don't think it is a big deal to step on it and when you do, it is no turning back!

The whole chaotic disater begins with the consent saying "yes."

"Yes" this simple consensual word has a magical power that mesmerizes you into an illusional state to believe a promised land waiting ahead. But it doesn't prevent the invisible factors from going wrong on the way.

First you say "yes," then comes the trouble! Game has begun and rules are waiting for you to follow. Nobody knows how long it will end or how it will end, but one thing for sure now is, you've already stepped a foot into the gate of chaos and the rest of the unknown is acting eagerly to drag you into it !

You are wondering if you'd made the right decision and are still observing the moves around you to see if you could turn you back and walk away if the situarion became the causation of your unhappiness.


2007.9.30 Wedding photo shoot

I took these pictures myself on the day we had our wedding photo shoot. Days before that I was feeling upset about all wedding customs and unsettlement which had irritated me so much to think about postponing the day. That's how things might trick you sometimes when they go the opposite!

When the day came, I was feeling calm and easy and let the makeup stylist did her work on me.
I didn't give her too much personal opinions about how I'd like to be dressed and just let her did whatever she pleased on me. I guess that was how things turned up well.

This was the last style and I loved the hairdo and the flower she attached on me.

Mei-mei, the makeup stylist

Another favorite style!


Last Month in Taichung / Aug.2007

The gathering at Eva's! The old staff from New York New York.
The farewell party for all New York's staff. Every one was back for the feast. It was weird that we didn't cry our hearts out?

Vic, the art designer

Mina, the accountant

Anna, office secretary

Taka, Japanese consultant

Miyamoto, Japanese consultant

Kathy, English consultant

Katrina and Tim

Donny and Me

Suzi, the former employee and me.

Mike Hickey

Jeff Raddle

Nick Chong, my favortite coworker.


The last night, the very end meal. Two clients of us treated some of us in a restaurant.

Nick, the bastard. I am always the one to pinch him . He got it back this time.


Is it a meticulous consideration or a blind impulse?

"I'm getting married!" ---a single line that I used to dream saying out loud with people's congratulaitons as response.

But, its feedback in the actual deed is totally out of my expectation, and to be honest, a bit disappointing.

Think back to my teenage dream, I was crazily hoping my life would be exotic and outlandish that it should happen in a foreign country with an artistic man that cared lots about me and two of us could live a non-traditional life for the rest of life. "A Non-traditional Life" was totally my ultimate goal for my life.

That didn't happen and I am no longer a teenage girl. It is completely contraditory than what I am facing right now.

Yesterday, people from two families were having lunch together in the restaurant talking about the possible wedding for the two of us.

There were 10 people at the table, my parents, his parents, my uncle and aunt, his uncle and aunt and two of us. (Traditionally, uncle from mother's side side plays an important role in the family and has right to manage or maybe to say interfere some decisions)

Anyway, the lunch event seemed a smooth one without too much awkwardness.
Both uncles from two families tried hard to convey each side's expectation.
No result came out from the first round draft and the second round is waiting ahead for the further request.

Eversince we decided to get married, we have been building the future path toward marriage.

Meeting each other's parents, family members and friends.
Discussing and exchaging the ideas about marriage.
Busy doing this and that~~
and I am overweight for the wedding photo shoot and start my diet project and it's progress is still far behind the schedule so far.

Gosh, so many things~~~~Where I work in the evening is closing down at the end of August, so I am moving northern to live with my boyfriend before the wedding. (Though the date is still unsettled)

The worst thing from the whole busy, annoying process before wedding is that ---- people around me start asking me to think twice and hard for my decision to prevent the worst scenario to happen in the future.

They want me to think carefully for the outcome if I made the wrong step now.

"Getting married is easy", they said.
"Getting divorced is not simply to walk away from the problems because it may have had the kids involved" , they reminded~

Ah~~~~~~` I know that~~~~~I know~~I know~~~~ but nothing is made from a single line with a single element.

Should I make a list to see if I should or shouldn't marry him?

Alas, difficult to pinpoint why I should or why I shouldn't .

**Baby, if you are reading this. please remember I love you and I only bring this onto the table for mere discussion***

The thing that gets beween us is the money issue.
Our values on money-using doesn't pace accordingly and I am afraid it might be a potential fuse to all future arguments.

We grew up in different families and, of course, our values on using money would certainly be different from each other~But I never thought we could be so different~

Optmistic as I always, I hope everything will seek to the perfect way through~

No sacrifice will be made! No compromise is unwilling~ Nobody will ever get to say, "I told you so~"


Hafa Adai~~Aloha~~Alii~~~

Angus and I went to Palau for a vacation. This was my first time abroad with my boyfriend. It was so much fun!! Palau was totally out of my expectation. I thought it would be like Guam where was surrrounded by the reef and so people could enjoy the ocean by walking down to it for a long distance. The ocean view in Palau was more like a rain forest where you needed people to drive you around with boats. And..I tried the snokeling for the very first time.
2006/6/26 Before leaving Angus' apartment.
It was his first time going abroad, so he looked very excited.

I wasn't as delightful as how the photo showed because there were kittens on the car wheels and it worried me a lot. I was afraid the kittens would get killed.
Nothing would disturb his good mood~
He didn't stop that freaking smile for one second~

I was a bit tired because of all the preparation before leaving. It was a hurried trip, we made this quick decision only 4 days before the date.
He couldn't control himself~~~Ha~~~Duty free goods

Angus bought me a Coach wristlet~hehehehe~ Man's chauvinism . Far Estern--Flight EF 601

Even the flight meal couldn't bring down his mood.
After 3 and half hours flight, we arrived in Palau. There was the cool police with a black labrado, too bad I wasn't quick enought to snap the dog.

Thai massage~~ It was incredible. So comfortable. ( It was included in the trip fare)
We stayed in Palasia Hotel. The owner is the Blue political party in Taiwan. The breakfast we had was pretty much the same during our stay.

Actually, I was a bit scared to sit on the speed boat.

The Milky Way ( or The Milk Lake) Beautiful ~~~~~~~
Could I be any bulkier?
Our tour guide, CiaoChang. He is from Mailand China, most of his coworkers are Taiwanese. He was a nice tour guide~

Covered with the mud~

It was supposed to be the beauty SPA, and I forgot to let it dry on me before jumping in the water.
Can you see the jellyfish on my hands? I was amazed by this beautiful creature. They said, it would die if it came off the water. So I tried to hold it steady under the water. When it hit my leg, I thought it was the silicon that boost up women's breasts. Then, there were more coming that women in the same group started to scream with delight. And our tour guide said, it was the jellyfish. I never touched that before~~~
Nobody's islet! We stopped there to rest and had our lunch there~ So beautiful~~ The only thing I couldn't get used to was the restroom!
They built restrooms on every islet, but they were so primitive. I dared not to look into it. The tour guide, Chang taught us another way to release ourselves~
At first, I didn't realize I was holding the shells of scallops. Not after we went to the Hundred-year scallops water zone to appreaciate them~

Big beer belly~~~Ha~~
Short-legged Me~~~
Ocean, ocean I LOVE YOU~~
Hehehe~~~~ I was trying the way our tour guide taught us about....
We picked up one beatle nut in the water. That was bigger than what we had in Taiwan. People here eat beatle nuts too.

Small green lizard~~~ The color was so green and vivid.
This was the water zone where we saw the rose coral.
A-sa, our boat man. He was so~~cool~~~

Nobody dared to try the famous bat soup, even though Chang told everyone it was the natural VIAGRA.

The scallop the guy killed was about 30 years old. People watched it with amazement~
The warrior dance. Those young kids were so cute that even though I couldn't understand what they were chanting, but I knew perfectly that they made some mistakes by chanting in the different rhythm and they argued with each other about it~

I was given the wreath. Chang said, that was how they chose their brides. Don't know if that was true.

This chubby young kid was the popular star in his group, everyone wanted to take a picture with him.
I took this photo at the port. The water was so clear I could see the blue starfish in it! There was blue starfish everywhere.
Whale island~~

The German Channel
We were on the Long Beach. They said, it was about 2 kilometers. Nobody could walk through it on foot before the high tide coming.

I couldn't jump up~~~
The second nobody's islet we had been to!

I didn't know how I looked so thin in this one~~ but I was happy about it.
I was running after this beautiful rooster all over this islet, it seemed to know I was following it. They said, Roosters are the God of Gate

We were so lucky that we had spotted so many new born baby jellyfish in the jellyfish lake. It wasn't so easy to see them in the lake, we had to climb a rough path up and down to get to the lake. Two of us were so stupid, we weren't properly equipped and we wore flip-flops~

It is beyond words to decribe how much I was touched by the thousands jellyfish in the lake. It seemed so unreal~

Lover Bridge~

This man is a TV star in Taiwan, we ran into him in Chinese restaurant.
Cool A-sa~

We had a free day and took some time to view the local view.

The tropical house in Palau.

We were at a local coffe shop, Angus was curious of the leaves. He eats beatle nuts sometimes in Taiwan.
The embassy of Taiwan.

The Napoleon Wrasse, we didn't have the underwater camera to take the photo of it in blue coral water zone, so we used the sign board in the hotel.The last day in Palau. Saying goodbye~~All couples took turns talking pictures with our tour guide CiaoChang.

Hehehe....... I put my head on his shoulder~

The father and son~ They are the relatives of one famous singer in Taiwan. The boy was so shy~

At bai

The last shot in hotel room.

We met two Palauan in the restaurant. They were so generous to let Angus tried the beatle nut.

We were on our way to the airport. A bit moody~~ Thinking about coming back to Taiwan with the dreary work.

Bye bye Palau~~~~~See U next time.
I love ocean. The blue sky with the blue color water~~
I've been to Guam, Hawaii and Palau. All of them are famous for their blue beauty.
I am fascinated to all of them. Each place dazzled me with different facet. I enjoyed them all.
Next destintation~~
Maldives / Great Barrier Reef / Kho Samui ?????