I am having the oral defense tomorrow morning. Feel a bit panic right now. Try to remember everything in the text and prepare things for tomorrow.
Reviewing every approach I used, the connection between the text and the application, the supportive arguments...........
I am happy and sad at the same time. I am happy because the whole thesis thing is finally coming to the end. The sad part is about the unknown future I am heading. I want to try something new. Perhaps still teaching English, but somewhere new. Or I guess, it wouldn't feel so bad to work a year or two as an OL. I really need some time to think over of what I really feel intereted in, besides being a student in shcool.
What I like.......
What I don't like......
2006-06-29
2006-06-25
Phantom Call
It may happen to everyone to receive the phantom call once in a while.
I am not sure if it is appropriate to call 'it' the phantom call. But the situation is like this, you pick up a phone call, either the call is unidentified or the number is blocked, the caller hangs up right after you answer it. It annoys people, particular me !
I don't know how people react to this, but if you were once harrassed by this sort of calls. You don't feel that it's easy to get over the unpleasant feeling.
I was once harrassed by the phantom calls, the time lasted for on and off, like....4 years.
The worst time, I would receive it almost every day. Of course, I knew who was the caller and tried many different methods to stop that. . The thing that confused me the most and never abled to get the answer was, What was the purpose? Was it fun? Or just to make sure I was still alive?
It bothered me for so long that left a shadow on me, and nowaday, I screen every call carefully.
The reason why I want to talk about this is because, after 2 years without answering this sort of call, I received the 'phantom call' again this afternoon. This time the number wasn't blocked, I called right back to see who the person was because the number look familiar and it wasn't in my caller list. Every time I change a new cell, I would re-arrange all the names in my phonebook, so I didn't want it to be one of my friends called and I missed it. However, the call transfered right to the voice mail box when I tried to reach. I told myself not to think too much but it seemed hauting me and bringing back the bad memory of me. The annoying phantom call~~~
I am not sure if it is appropriate to call 'it' the phantom call. But the situation is like this, you pick up a phone call, either the call is unidentified or the number is blocked, the caller hangs up right after you answer it. It annoys people, particular me !
I don't know how people react to this, but if you were once harrassed by this sort of calls. You don't feel that it's easy to get over the unpleasant feeling.
I was once harrassed by the phantom calls, the time lasted for on and off, like....4 years.
The worst time, I would receive it almost every day. Of course, I knew who was the caller and tried many different methods to stop that. . The thing that confused me the most and never abled to get the answer was, What was the purpose? Was it fun? Or just to make sure I was still alive?
It bothered me for so long that left a shadow on me, and nowaday, I screen every call carefully.
The reason why I want to talk about this is because, after 2 years without answering this sort of call, I received the 'phantom call' again this afternoon. This time the number wasn't blocked, I called right back to see who the person was because the number look familiar and it wasn't in my caller list. Every time I change a new cell, I would re-arrange all the names in my phonebook, so I didn't want it to be one of my friends called and I missed it. However, the call transfered right to the voice mail box when I tried to reach. I told myself not to think too much but it seemed hauting me and bringing back the bad memory of me. The annoying phantom call~~~
2006-06-18
How real could a dream be?
How Real Could a Dream be?
*******************************************************
Loneliness replaced with wonders you bring
An aerial feeling lasts for the craving sustains
Lips, Arms and Warming hands
Are you the target from thousands potentials to be?
If only a string is attached and lead me to thee.
Alas ! I'm still in dream and the bell hasn't ring.
How real could a dream be if the dream foresee?
2006-06-13
How dangerous is an open heart?
Something happened to me today made me to think about what 'friendship' really is? It is easy to meet somebody, be someone's friend and have fun with the person. But, it seems hard to maintain friendship when something come up and you and your friend can't see the thing the same way. Or is it because of me? Sometimes I got betrayed, sometimes I ditch others (I never betray my friends, but I ditch some because the communication didn't work) But I think, that is something about making friends, right? Friends come and go, it is ok, because you will always meet someone new in the future, in different periods of time due to different reasons, out of different interests you share. Of course, I have a few close friends that I know for a long long time, but not so many though. Why should I care so much? Why can't I care less? Yes...because we are human not animals, of course~~~
2006-06-12
Finally..Finally...
I am so happy that I've finally handed in my thesis. Thinking for the past three months, I sacrificed all the entertainment for life. I know it sounds silly, but I just can't focus on others if I am preoccupied. I'm very surprised of myself being able to suffer all these, staying home on the weekends thinking and reading. Gave up my favorite DVD time, shopping time and family time. I guess, I really care about getting my degree. Normally, for graduate programs, it takes about 2 years to finish, but the literature in my school takes 3 years. Two years for the courses and one year for the thesis conducting. (most of the students take more than a year to write their thesis. I think, it is because of the language, not easy to write in a second language)
How did I live by the past three years? Studying and working the same time, move three times in 2 years and got really sick a few times and car accident one time. Ah~~~~~well..it'll be all worth it soon. After I defend myself in Oral defense.
I really enjoy reading books, attending classes, knowing new ideas and theories.
But how long will I be able to contiue doing this?
The expectation for women in Taiwan is to get a steady job and get married. Women who desire to study PH.D usually end up sacrifice their love lives and marriage? Will I end up like that? Looking old, dressing old and living lonely?
What is more important for one's psyche? What is the better fulfillment for women? If I couldn't study further, I don't think I would give up making myself a smarter person in soul.
How did I live by the past three years? Studying and working the same time, move three times in 2 years and got really sick a few times and car accident one time. Ah~~~~~well..it'll be all worth it soon. After I defend myself in Oral defense.
I really enjoy reading books, attending classes, knowing new ideas and theories.
But how long will I be able to contiue doing this?
The expectation for women in Taiwan is to get a steady job and get married. Women who desire to study PH.D usually end up sacrifice their love lives and marriage? Will I end up like that? Looking old, dressing old and living lonely?
What is more important for one's psyche? What is the better fulfillment for women? If I couldn't study further, I don't think I would give up making myself a smarter person in soul.
2006-05-18
The Da Vinci Code & Car Accident
I was just promising myself if I could finish Chapter 3 before Friday, I would reward myself for the movie, The Da Vinci Code. But I had a car accident today, so it ruined my plan for the weekened, I would probably need to stay home to recover and do more homework.
I love the novel so much. I really appreciate the idea that Jesus was married to a woman. That makes more sense, right? I also like the idea that another force challenges the authority of Vatican and its church system.
If I remember it correct, it should be about Foucoult's hegemony.
I know that the novel is fictional, but no one can deny that the author, Dan Brown is brilliant.
Ha~~~~
Gosh~~ why did I have the accident?
I love the novel so much. I really appreciate the idea that Jesus was married to a woman. That makes more sense, right? I also like the idea that another force challenges the authority of Vatican and its church system.
If I remember it correct, it should be about Foucoult's hegemony.
I know that the novel is fictional, but no one can deny that the author, Dan Brown is brilliant.
Ha~~~~
Gosh~~ why did I have the accident?
2006-05-16
How desperate could one be?
How desperate could one be?
How lonely could one live?
How endless will it be?
It is driving me crazy~~~
How lonely could one live?
How endless will it be?
It is driving me crazy~~~
2006-05-11
Computer Imbecile
Do people freak out when their computer breakdown?
I felt like an imbecile whenever there was a dysfunction in my computer.
It is like a curse that my computer always abandons me when I need it the most
It drives me nut~~~~
I felt like an imbecile whenever there was a dysfunction in my computer.
It is like a curse that my computer always abandons me when I need it the most
It drives me nut~~~~
2006-05-07
2006-05-04
2006-05-03
Honey ! It's a lesbian !
To work on your master thesis is like living in the hell.
For the past two months, my routine life has became like:
Wake up in the morning, sit myself in front of the laptop
and then spend the rest of the day, staring at the computer,
thinking. (Perhaps I am a bit over exaggerated, no one can have
such super concentration) I do spend time on the daily chore
and working three hours every evening. Every day is such a
long day to me. Two more months to go~~~~
I do wish it will end more quickly or at least, on time.
Today,I read across a part in Sara Salih's book "Judith Butler"
and laughed so loud at this:
To claim, as Butler does, that sex is always (to a degree) performative is to
claim that bodies are never merely described, they are always constituted in
the act of description. when the doctor and nurse declares "It's a girl/boy!',
they are not simply reporting on what they see (this would be on a
constative utterance), they are actually assigning a sex and a gender to a
body that can have no existence outside discourse. In other words, the
statement 'It's a girl/boy!' is performative. Butler returns to the birth/
ultrasound scene in the final Chapter of Bodies, "Critically Queer', where,
as before, she argues that discourse preceded and constitutes the 'I' i.e.
the subject:
To the extent..............
It's a girl!' is not a statement of fact but an interpellation that initiates the
process of 'girling', a process based on perceived and imposed differences
between men and women, differences that are far from 'natural' . To
demostrate the performative operations of interpellation, Butler cites a cartoon
strip in which an infant is assigned its place in the sex-gender system with the
exclamation 'It's a lebian!'. Far from an essentialist joke, the queer
appropriation of the perfomative mimes and exposes both binding
power of the heterosexualizing law and its expropriability. (88-89)
I think, to deconstruct female gender doesn't mean to negate the male
gender and make female gender the subject or the other the weaker part.
Instead, it is , as what Butler is trying to do, to embrace a multi-formity
of gender.
For the past two months, my routine life has became like:
Wake up in the morning, sit myself in front of the laptop
and then spend the rest of the day, staring at the computer,
thinking. (Perhaps I am a bit over exaggerated, no one can have
such super concentration) I do spend time on the daily chore
and working three hours every evening. Every day is such a
long day to me. Two more months to go~~~~
I do wish it will end more quickly or at least, on time.
Today,I read across a part in Sara Salih's book "Judith Butler"
and laughed so loud at this:
To claim, as Butler does, that sex is always (to a degree) performative is to
claim that bodies are never merely described, they are always constituted in
the act of description. when the doctor and nurse declares "It's a girl/boy!',
they are not simply reporting on what they see (this would be on a
constative utterance), they are actually assigning a sex and a gender to a
body that can have no existence outside discourse. In other words, the
statement 'It's a girl/boy!' is performative. Butler returns to the birth/
ultrasound scene in the final Chapter of Bodies, "Critically Queer', where,
as before, she argues that discourse preceded and constitutes the 'I' i.e.
the subject:
To the extent..............
It's a girl!' is not a statement of fact but an interpellation that initiates the
process of 'girling', a process based on perceived and imposed differences
between men and women, differences that are far from 'natural' . To
demostrate the performative operations of interpellation, Butler cites a cartoon
strip in which an infant is assigned its place in the sex-gender system with the
exclamation 'It's a lebian!'. Far from an essentialist joke, the queer
appropriation of the perfomative mimes and exposes both binding
power of the heterosexualizing law and its expropriability. (88-89)
I think, to deconstruct female gender doesn't mean to negate the male
gender and make female gender the subject or the other the weaker part.
Instead, it is , as what Butler is trying to do, to embrace a multi-formity
of gender.
2006-04-29
Feeling Nostalgia
I am looking for love
Ridiculous.....
Inconvenient......
Consuming.........
Can't live-without-each-other kind of love~~~
Carrie--Sex and the City, Season 6
2006-04-27
What am I going to do with this blog?
I don't know what I will write? But I guess, I just need a space to vent on things I like or things I don't like. It seems a good idea to express your ideas and can see your words shown on the internet.
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