A Story--What is a Helping Hand?

My late dinner with coworkers after work always turned out to be a real long dinner that last about 4 hours and ended up with me coming home at 1 o'clock in the morning.
I've worked in this language center as a language consultant for almost 4 years now. Seeing people come and go, who included sales, managers and consultants.
The coworkers that I was having dinnder with are the old faces that stick around in this company for years.
We've hung out a few time in these past couple weeks.
Everytime, the conversation would relate to one coworker's problem with her BF.
Thing is a little complicated, but in a easy way, it is that...this coworker of mine. She is the assistant manager in management department and about 8 months ago, she introduced her BF to be our assistant manager in language dep. In short, the thing is that they can't work together and their incompatible opinions led them to end up breaking up with each other.
Their relationship before the man works here has already contained some problems. And the issue gets worse after he started working with her.
During these few time hanging out, she has told us the difficulty in working with her ex-bf. How thing would be difficult, how awkward her situation is?
To suffer in keeping her man's ego or to keep and help him being professional is the biggest problem.
That was something that always struck me somehow with some feedback that I'd like to talk about.
What is a smarter woman to be? What do men want their women to be?
There is a saying in our culture goes that "To win your man's heart, you need to know his appetite first!" In another way, it is saying that, if a woman could be a good housewife who knows how to cook, then she could handle her man.
If men are the master of the world and the women are the ones that take care of the men, then who are the real master of the world?
Anyway, that is just one logic to view women and men's relationships from one angle. There are other logics as well to give out opinions.
My question here is...... does it make you a smarter woman if you could take care of your man well.
In some women's ideas, they are proud of being about to take care of everything in their men's lives. For example, to know where their men put their socks, or run errands for their men.
Of course, I agree that when you are in a relationship. Sometimes that is a gesture to show your love and show how thoughtful you could be.
But to spoil your man sometimes makes him stop from growing into a mature man. And to a woman who makes herself valuable only as a housekeeper really opposes to my idea and concept of how women should be.
What is the helping hand that men want?
Do men wish their women to give them suggestions directly when they are in needs?
Or do men like it better to have their women stand by their sides being cheerleader saying, "Go~~~"?
Or maybe neither of the above~~~(It's all about men's ego)
Women should just be who they are and better learn well on how to play the game 'hard to get' keeping their men's interests on their mysteries. (Perhaps men would love thier women more ?)
From my failed experience, I've tried the previous 2 methods on 2 different men. None of them worked. One time, I tried to be a great listener and gave out my advise with whole-hearted. One time, I tried to play a role that give out support by nodding my head with a smile to his plan for the future.
Maybe it was because I tried the wrong method on the wrong man.
Anyway..... instead of keep thinking of what men want their women to be, I'm thinking it would be better idea to find a mature man who know what he wants without your opinion in it. So it is easier that, as his woman, all you have to do is to respect him, support him and give him a kindly hand when he needs it.
Yap~~Mature Man........
Where are you???
Maybe there are no mature men?????
Maybe to win your man's heart is to understand his ego and do the the opposite.