Catatonic mind

Being cautious is good when one's dealing with something essential! Or, maybe not, because the one who dares to take the risk holds a better chance to succeed!

One's fate lies in one's hand! That's certainly true~ Because my personality had many times troubled me with unneccessary worries.

Take this time surgery for example: I was pretty evasive about laparoscopy before because the fallopian tubes are right next to the ovaries and and I was afraid I would be mistreated, since too many mispractices had occured out of doctors' carelessness or laziness.

My mom was an innocent victim under this circumstance. Back in 2005, she was under a surgery to lift up her bladder and to remove her uterus. Because not only these 2 organs had aged but also sunk by gravity and inflexibility. To our surprise was that some time after the surgery, my mom went to another doctor to consult something else. The sonograph showed that one of her ovaries was gone.

My mom said, she didn't recall agreeing to have her ovaries removed. My brother was very angry about this. Even though, my mom is already into her menopause, still there is no reason having healthy organ removed. So, why did the doctor do so?
It's not hard to understand!! Our national insurance have many flaws and one of them is that every surgery costs a price and the hospitals get refund from our government based on the insurance policies. It's all about money!! The evil doctor just thought my mom was over reproductive age and she no longer needed her ovary.

That's what stirs my catatonic nerve~~~
But just to think of the possibility of losing my ovaries like my mom did really drives me crazy!! One worries me further more is that my fertility doctor and the doc. who did this surgery were schoolmates. They are friends and know each other's family. What if one covers for the other?

In oder to calm my nerves down and to stop the nonsence, I visited a female gyno next my apartment. I told her my worries and she checked me right away!

I am fine~~~
The black voids I saw from my post-surgical follow-up check were not my ovaries. They were the voids where my tubes supposed to be.

I am totally relieved now!!

All I can say is I am under a super big stress to have a baby for the family. I have to exclude the elements that might block my way to motherhood.

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