2006-07-05

86+ 88 +89 / 3 = 83 ????

Score means everything when you try to prove of certain capability. ( this statement isn't exactly correct, but that is how it works in Taiwan) Of course, it matters in sport games, one point makes a great different bewteen win or lose. Here in Taiwan, getting high score in school tells how well you perform, and how people would think of you as a student. The standard is pretty simple, good score/ good student, bad score/ not good student. I hope, the new parents nowadays will not use the scores to judge their kids. But according to the previous event happened in Taichung, it seems that kids are still competing with others by getting higher scores.
It makes a little bit sense for education before college because students can't choose the subjects in schools. All they have to do is showing how much they digest and absorb from the general subjects they learn. If they didn't get good grades, it means they didn't work hard enough. However, it is whole different matter in the university courses.
I majored in Literature in the university. Everytime my mom received my school report card, she would call and ask why I got this and that in certain subjects. I never could explain myself clear enough because she would never understand that I chose the course by teachers. I enjoyed some teachers' courses because they allowed you to talk freely in classes and they knew how to guide you to think further, the only flaw was, they didn't give students high scores.
Anyway, the reason why I brought this up is because I think I was subconsciously judging myself with scores and value my capability with it.
Or I really use it consciously to value myself?
Last Friday, I had my oral defense for my thesis. I didn't know I would get grades for oral defense, until two days before the event my friend told me the news and said it would be recorded in my school report. I thought it was merely pass or fail thing.
That morning, I was nervous and in a hurry, tried to pick up the snack boxes I ordered and hurried to school. (It is the culture thing, we prepare drinks and snacks for committee, they could eat it while listening to your presentation. Kind of bribe, make them focusing on the food and miss the parts you mis-represent) one of the member was half hour late, but fortunately I wasn't so nervous and could explain everything they asked.
After the short discussion between the committees, they congratulated me and said I' ve done a good job.
I was relieved until I saw my evaluation form. 83, that was, an 83. The evaluation form before mine in the pile was 88.
The first thing came to my mind was, 'Gosh, I was lower than the average! How could that be?'
The TA in the office kept saying, 'Oh, got over it, you didn't fail.'
For a couple of minutes, I was comforting myself thinking that, 'yeah, what if I failed?'
Until I had lunch with one of the committee member and she told me that my advisor really liked my work. So, I couldn't help and asked her, 'why I only got 83 if everyone kept telling me I was good?' (it didn't seem appropriate, but I couldn't help it)
Ha~~~it turned out I didn't just get 83. The lead member mis-calculated the grades.
I am wondering how 'grades' can represent one's ability in something?
Especially, when there isn't the correct answer.
why can't they evaluate your work, just tell you 'pass' or 'fail' and list the reasons why?
Mmmm...........

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