Because I said so !

Don't know how to start putting words on this one.

I guess it was the motherhood issue that attracted me at the first place.

There was another recently viewed. Volver by Penelope Cruz.

I love that one better !!

The whole plot is better placed and organized.

Also about motherhood.

A self-helped soul searching, maybe??

I never be able to avoid being attracted by those mother-daughter movies or books.

Not yet a Mom. Definately a mom-well-prepared-in-theory

http://www.bulletproofrecords.com/press/biss/becauseisaidso-press.html

Married Women-----HOOD

Mom called me one afternoon to remind me of what I should remember to prepare for the prayer. Going to the temple on certain days is a ritual in many Taiwanese families.
Before, my mom would do everything for the family.
She knows every particular date. Dates to set food to worship the ancestor, dates for grandparents' dead birthdays. When to go to temples to pray, what to prepare, how to say your prayer to Gods.
This year, she called to make sure that I did the same. Only it was for my own sake!
Conventionally, we make extra prayers according to the Chinese year we have.
I am a horse. And I need to make extra prayer this year.

Getting older decreases my mom's memory and she called me several times to remind me of the steps that I should notice and follow. Actually, I was a little bit annoyed by her phone call at first, thinking how stupid it was to do it under certain form. I'd alreday got my ideas and had decided to do it my way! I thought, it was a prayer to God, in which that would only require nothing but your whole-hearted sincerity. So, I was annoyed to be forced to do the ways she considered it right! However, I didn't say much to my mom this time, didn't show her how annoyed I was ! I just said I would do it and hung up.
I understand her mind, knowing that she wants me to learn all this convention stuff because now I am married and soon in a few years, I will have my own kids and it is important that I carry on the tradition. That's my mom's expectation of what a good married woman is like.
Being a good married woman gains reputation that benefits not only to the woman herself but also to her family as well , for such a great achievement her parents have achieved to bring up a courteous, understanding and measurement-knowing-how daughter !

My mom's expectation, NOT MINE~~
I don't think I can avoid practising rituals in my married life. But I do believe, I have power over the convention I want to adopt and under what forms and pattern I prefer!!

The incident before Chinese New Year has safely come to the end

Mr. Huang had kept his promise and so, I had visited my parents during Chinese New Year as I'd planned.
We even spent the last two days of the holiday joining a trip with my cousin and extended family

The first-year experience with my in-laws was not as scary as I thought it would be.
There wasn't much emotional swing occured!
The truth was, I was sorrowful for a bit while but the feeling went away quickly for I was too busy to brood it on.

Thing about catering business is, you have to work harder to make more money while others have their days off and have time to spend more money outside their working fields.
So, we were incredibly busy during Chinese New Year. There were piles of different food materials to be prepared.

Carrots, turnips, mushrooms waited to be sliced. Chickens to be cleaned, Fish to be scaled. Lambs to be chopped ! Utensils, napkins and hundreds of plates and bowls.

No time to take a rest because the works never seemed to be done enough!
Orders were placed over the phone calls, one after another, ringing the hooks off.
Some wanted only one or two courses, the other wanted a table.

That was not enough, we had to set a stand in day market to sell the cooked dishes. For many housewives were lazy to prepare the big meal and they would want to buy prepared food.

We spent 5 days with my hubby's family working hard and at the third day, Mr. Huang gave up his own wishful thinking that he wanted to spend the whole holiday with his family and said he would definately keep his promise to me.

I think, if we hadn't been that busy, I would have missed my family so much and felt so sorrowful.
Physical torment is easier to get over with than mental one !!

The incident has come to a happy ending and I appreciate Mr. Huang for keeping his promise.

Marriage life does challenge my feministic belief. Still, I believe there are ways to make my marriage life better in the ways that fit better to my ideals!!!

Keep going Gingie !!!

Let's Wait and See

The first incompatibility in my marriage has temporarily suspended in balance. After the negotiation, we've reached an agreement of my right on parent visitation.
However, no conclusion should be made so far because I still have doubts over the promise.
It is hard to tell what kind of businessman Mr. Huang is?

The process on the negotiating table was ugly, two people who claimed to be in love and took the marraige vow, had fought with the dirtiest words ever.

I think, every argument damages the marriage somehow and becomes irrecoverable. It will leave a hole and accumulate until one day the hole gets so big and breaks the marriage!
No wonder that the divorce rate is so high ! High divorce rate doesn't mean that true love nowaday is cheap or isn't cared by the young people. It only shows that how assertive women have become and that, women no longer want to take any unreasonable repression in marriage.

I won't say that I've won over the conflict with Mr. Huang. It is not about win or lose!
It is about that since Mr. Huang's wife isn't weak in mind, which she has never been. He should know better that it is time to adapt his pace over his old chauvinistic thinking of married women and so he can be lucky to still be married to a smart woman!

To Show the Art of the Marriage relies on Conflict Management

The turbulence in marriage has arrived earlier than I had expected. I have always been clearly aware of the insecure, awkwardness in the relationship between mother and daughter-in-law. Because of my own relationship with my mother, I've never really looked forward to a closer connection in mother and daughter-in-law. Keeping a decent distance is my strategy!! (It is a fortune that we live 4 hours driving distance away)

Always being polite and applying with courtesy!! (It isn't like talking to your own mother. To your mom, you can reveal the real you without faking anything behind the mask)

Friends who are already in marraiges have suggested me to use husband as the buffer when communicating with mother-in-law. They said, it would defer the direct friction and create a safe zone for the future's sake. So far, I think, I can't agree less with it!

But, to get between wife and mother does make Mr. Huang feel like living in hell. It is easy to corner him to a dead end without realzing it! (though I am clear of this, I can't help but keep doing it in the opposite)

So, it becomes crucial how well a wife can play her role and ,at the same time, get the ways she wants and things she insists on.

Have I become a wife who can manage the skill of a smart wife yet?
NOT YET! OF COURSE !!!
I don't have the high EQ to be nice cat and mean cat at the same time!!!

My Mr. Huang just took his mom's side and decided to sacrifice my right on paying a visit to my parents during Chinese New Year. (So, I have declared my right and gave words that he will have to go home alone without me)

Traditionally, like how western people celebrate Christmas, we Taiwanese will get together to have a nice, big meal on Chinese New Year's Eve.
Then, after, the day of Lunar New Year, married women will visit their parents and spend a day.

Mr. Huang's family is in Catering business. They will be busy on Chinese New Year.(I can totally understand the situation and the importance of being a helpful hand) Because more and more families think it is too tiring to prepare dinner and will simply call out for the catering food.
So, Huang's four married daughters will be home on the second day of Chinese New Year holidays to help out the business.

I'll say it is good to have so many daughters and son-in-laws to be so helpful when it is hard to hire workers during Chinese New Year.

But to deprive my right from the tradition and ask me to help out while all their daughters are home with their parents and ME, stay in Huangs to help out instead of going home being a good daughter is totally , TOTALLY N-O-T Negotiable

How's this fair?
How can I put up with this archaic, foul idea !!

The plan we had before the argument was to be at Huang's three days before Chinese New Year's Eve.
So, if we followed the old plan, we would be helpful enough for plenty of works.

To be reasonable and think the best interests of Mr. Huang is Huangs problem to be concerned. They should know if they forced thier son to stick around and help, they would put thier son to the edge away from THE GOOD SON-IN-LAW zone.

It could sabotage not only the intimacy with his wife but the relationship with all the in-laws on his wife side!!

How smart will Huangs be? I don't know !!!

We just had the argement and this conflict is left without any conclusions!
I think, I'll just have to wait and see.
Being calm is by far the step I can think of!
I wish I could have talked to someone about it.

Alas, I have chosen this marriage and to marry this man and now, it is my problem to learn how to stick to it!

Orelse?
Orelse what, Gingie?

Howler

AMAZON~~~~WHERE ARE MY BOOKS??
What exactly is this tracking number stands for?
GM01088.............................???????????????

Which website should I be checking in?
The address is correct.
Even checked with the local post office
Still..........my books~~~NO WHERE TO BE SEEN

I need my books ~~~~IMMEDIATELY~~~
It is really frustrating to expect books for so long~~

Tokyo, Japan

Japan is a wonderful choice for many newly-weds to go for honeymoons. One, no visa is needed, it'll save some money out of budget. Second, Japan is famous for its culture, good manners and cleaness, so no need to worry about the being robbed on the street, it is totally safe to travel there. Third, I got married in the wintertime and Japan has many hot spring spots to steam up the erotic passion. HA~~~

What attracted me more was Hokkaido, the far north in Japan. The sightseeing tours in Hokkaido are all scheduled for hot springs, seafood buffet, hot springs, seafood buffet and more hotspings.

But, then, my hubby's friend back in the army was going to Japan for the honeymoon, too. We, then, decided to join them in the same trip to Tokyo. Everything was new and fresh!!We arrived there around 4 pm in the afternoon, and since Japan's daytime is much shorter. It was already dark everywhere, though the day was still very young.

The weather was cold. It was only 33.8 Fahrenheit, Much colder than Taiwan and was dryer.The first night schedule was loose! We went to a shopping mall for dinner and was mislead by our tourguide to get lost in the bus tracks. Our tourguide was nice, but wasn't sharp enough sometimes. We were supposed to take the hotel trolley back to hotel that we stayed, but we got on the wrong hotel trolley and stopped at a train station. Night life in Japan is poor.

In Taiwan, many stores open up until 12 am.

In Japan, stores simply close around 9-10, some close earlier! We were forced to stick around the station for the next connecting hotel trolley back to our hotel!

The first morning from hotel's window.

We watched the news in bed to know there was snow in Tokyo and opened the window to find the surprise.

It was my first encounter with snow.
Too excited to care about how bloated I was.

The first morning's plan was heading toward the mountain areas around Tokyo.

Here, we stopped at a tourist service center.Vending machine isn't a new invention.

But to see so many together in a shop was definately an eye-opening scene.Many different flavors of coffee and brands of tea. Hot ones. Cold ones.

Even the food machine which you could get the steaming food from it.

The particular square setting was the front door of the temples. When seeing this, you could expect a temple somewhere near it

During out trip in Tokyo, we visted several famous temples. They were all so sacred and devine.

Beatiful architecture.

There were fountain places like this one near every temple. For worshipers to clean their hands with the spring water and to rinse their mouths too. Don't understand why rinsing the mouth before going into the temple. Anyway, people don't swallow the water but instead to spit it.

These two scary statues were two Gods.

One was supposed to the Thunder God. While the other was the Wind God. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to tell apart which one was which?

This was taken on our way to our second night hotel.

The Fuji Mountain.

It was so SO beautiful.

The tourguide said, we were lucky to see it without clouds around. Most of the time, people would miss it due to the bad weather. Even with the good weather could disturb the view.

Before we went for the hot springs. We tried on the traditional custume, which is called, YUKADA.

It is like the bathrobe.

When we were about to leave our second morning, it happned to be snowing outside.

The snow wasn't big enough to be spotted.

Another temple visit!!

This one was bigger and more sacred than others.

In Japan, they have the regular temples for ordinary people and ones for kings only.

This one was for kings.

We ran into someone who served in the temple. I guess, he was going to hold a ceremony or something, but was asked by many tourists for photos.

Tokyo Tower. We had our lunch in the basement of it.

I like this temple better because it was like our temples in Taiwan. Around it, there were vendors and shops for snacks and souvenirs.

This Japanese sushi chef was cute and shy.

The raw sushi was so delicious!

Expensive too. We didn't have enough time to dulge our appetite.

Disneyland, the forth day of the trip.

We stayed over 12 hours in this wonderland.

We got up early to line up for the entry and found out that lots of others got up much earlier than us did.

I forgot how long did we line up for the entry.

Time went by while we were chatting, feeling excited about the facilities inside.

The weather was still cold then.

Seeing many Japanese families there to get ready for fun. For all tourists, we used the one-day visit pass. But, according to our tourguide, some Japanese love Disneyland so much that they bought the year pass to be there anytime they want.

And I did see some of them using the card pass, not the paper pass.

Exotic castle! Somewhat European. Don't you think?

For the first 8 hours, I was smiling non-stop like a kid. WOW~~~ at this and that. Tried on every kids favorite facilities.

Such as this one. The Turning Cups.

The Western Area.

We did stay there for over 12 hours.

Unfornately, I didn't make it to the Cartoon Town to take a picture with Mickey or Minnie or Donald Duck.....Alas!!!

Humungous Smoked Turkey legs~~~~

It smelled so good~~~

My hubby couldn't resist it and so we bought two.

But~!!!

It wasn't juicy. Dry and not juicy.

So... I took a few bites and left it all to my husband.

The big show in Disneyland is, there will be a parade almost everyday at 2 pm.

The time we took this picture wasn't even 2pm.

It was maybe 1:30 or something.

However, lots of Japanese had put out their picnic pads on the floor and occupied on the sides of the parade route.

We were so impressed how organized they were and couldn't help take this piciture.

Of course, people gathered up quickly in a short time, when we finally decided to find a spot, there weren't good ones to take.

I am sure, poeple who work in Disneyland always work in delight.

The parade lasted for about 30 minutes.

All the characters in the parade sang along the way to the end.

We, audience just cried out WOW~~~~

HA HA HA .......WOW....HA HA HA

That's Micky. Minnie

Peter Pan~~~~

Snow White.

It was great to see this famous character.

But....I think, this Snow White was a bit too old.

I was happy still though

Disneyland is sure a wonderland.

Lots of little girls dressed up like princesses.

It was too bad, they didn't sell princess custume for adults.

The last morning before we departured.

We went to MINATO station.

Here we took a monorail.

This monorail in Japan was so special.

It was like cable car, only the monorail in Japan used a magnet track to hold the roof of the car.

So, basically, the car slided under a sky bridge with its bottom floating.

Time to say goodbye. We were at NARITA airport.

Overall impression over Japan was good.

The only flaw was, it was difficult to find a bilingual tourist guides.

Everything was in Japanese.

They should put up more bilingual signs to help the tourist.

Chinese is definately a better option.

But at least more English signs to help out.

I like Japan.

I think, I will visit it soon again with my husband.

Marriage begins when Honeymoon is over.

For the past few months, I was totally occupied with all details and matters related to my engagement, wedding and after-wedding party. I was dreadful tired. It is difficult to imagine how some people can manage to have more than one marriage?

Something about wedding is that, it is never going to be a two-people matter but a two-family matter. Even an independent, self-rightous and opinionated woman like me was trapped in the mouths of others. I was swamped in their kindness, for they were simply being nice to think the best of your well-beings and benefit, but sometimes, the warm-hearted advices could be so annoying! Ones who have had been through wedding matters cordially gave you suggestions about what to do and what not to do. What's worse was, when both of you have big families, toubles double up because you didn't know whose suggestion to take and whose to cast away.

Thanks God, I've survived through the whole wedding ordeal and have had my honeymoon in Tokyo, Japan with my husband.

Honeymoon as it was supposed to be, fine and sweet. I felt nothing changed between us two.
It was like we were still unmarried.
However, soon the situation is gonna change cause the Chinese New Year is coming in February and I will, for the first time, having the family reunion dinner with my in-law family not with my mom and dad.

I try not to think in advance how sorrowful I might be to be where without my parents on New Year's Eve. I wasn't so attached to my parents before, but it seems that once thing is no longer as it used to be, I miss the old time and get scared to the new condition.

Well, hope everything will be okay!!
I'll be fine.
After Chinese New Year, I'll have to start thinking about finding a new job here in Taoyuan, of course, my goal of life should get started ,too.

Read Your Anxiety Away

When I am under stress. I love to duck back to the world of books. Long stories, short stories, various kinds of fiction that seems to attract my attention and be able to soothe my nerves.

The best part of reading is that its imaginary world gives you a peaceful moment which temporarily makes you forget what you're being through. The downside of it comes when you are about to finish it and when you do, it leaves nothing but a sense of lonliness. Emptiness creeps all over you and haunts you to linger in the fabricated plot for a while until a click from the real world to bring you back to the reality.

Story after story I read, I read my life through author's eye. Each brilliant work brings me the observation and life experience from the author. I mimic my life to the character's for venting, pick up the potential situation, print it in my memory for the unknown future with sensible preparation.

Wedding Photos