Feeling Obligated to But Unable to

I was occupied by different things around me recently that kept me away from spending time on my blog! The primary event was one family issue that still now ongoing. My brother and I were against my mom for the decision she made. Since my mom only has me and my brother, she has no ally to support her and my dad is the issue we were arguing about. But it is too private and so I have no intention to talk about that here.

Also, I am reading an incredibly long novel called, "Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell by Susanna Clarke." It is a long novel over 1000 pages and is known as one of the best magician books after Harry Potter. The writing style is more like Gothic and Jane Austine. So, I think it might take me forever to finish the book.
I am curious about the story and have made up my mind to find out what it is about!
I love reading stories or knowing stories or even just listening to them. (Perhaps I was destined to be a literature major!) The only flaw of me reading stories is that I never remember the name of the book or the author or even the names of the characters well. But I can definately tell the same story over and over again without missing the great parts. I know~~~
My dad is the one that helps develop my interest over literature (story). Still remember when audio books weren't that many or popular, I was like 3 0r 4. I had many cassettess that told stories. (Please excuse me for blahing away)

You know, that's the thing~
Not posting stuff on my blog makes me feel a bit anxious! That's what commitment is about. Before I opened this blog, I spent a few days considering in every way and asked myself question why I needed a blog in my life. And finally, I gave myself a simple reason: so I could get a place to whine~~Ha~No, actually, I was thinking about using it to practice my English. (Am I?)

Well, commitment... when you commit to something, it would become part of you, either part of your responsiblity or part of your life that needs your nourishment to make it alive.
That's why I always think carefully before commiting to something. Such as, signing a signature; when you sign one, it means you have to responsible for what you do and can't not change your original purpose of doing it!
Or like, attending a course you choose for youself. (I tried not to be too capricious on the attendance, but I skipped tonight!)

Anyway, I'm here typing away, instilling my life on this blog with a little spirit of me.
I got a new hair cut that I've been showing it off to people. But I don't know how to downsize the file of the photos and can't post them on the blog. Last Friday, they held a Holloween Party in the language center where I worked. Those clients and I were like crazy taking pitures around in different wierd poses. Everyone (not me) has a digital camera to practise their skills with. In different angles, settings and postures. Ugly but fun~

While other people are devoting their lives to the academic knowledge or the issues of Politic or Economics or even working hard to make money.
I am the one that wandering around with nothing productive at hand!
A dead woman walking alive!