Ever thine, ever mine, ever OURS~

Yesterday was a burning hot day ! I passed my chance to go to the mountain with my hubby because I had suffered much from the sizziling sun the day before. It was fun to have a one-day trip with my hubby and his friends, but it was too tiring.

So, yesterday, while my hubby enjoyed his family time, I grasped my chance at the theater with my favorite, "Sex and the City." It was better to go alone anyway~~I needed my private time to appreciate the shrine of all women.

This HBO series had accompanied me to pass the lowest emotional tumblings when I was in college. I am sure, many women have shared the same experiences like me.~~~

I couldn't remember how many times I had shed my tears with Carrie over Big's indecisive commitphobia.

There is more than just the discussions over sex or the love relationships between the characters. "Sex and the City" conveys women in ways they long to be understood!!!

We love to be understood emotionally, we have our particular expression over issues and lives.

We have our reasons for everything we want to do or people we love.

We are all princesses in our dreamlands and thiking our living-happily-ever-after lives with our Mr. Rights.

But lives are not pretty, we may be searching without that meant-to-be, or we may find out marraige isn't the answer to love. But "LOVE" is something we won't stop hoping for~

Nomatter how our "LOVE" have their ways out of our lives. The most important thing we should always bear in mind is, " the past LOVE is still as strong as the time we once owned it. No need to deny the ever existing love."

I enjoyed how the movie had presented those fancy outfit that blinded my eyes with dazzles.

Still, I loved how Carrie and Big ended at the end of the movie.

Got married in PLAIN ORDINARY~~~~

Life is a Bitch, then You Die

Life in Taiwan has become so pressing and stressful that agitates everyone so much lately. Of course, it is due to the shortage of the oil supply, that's why the prices of all goods are flying so high up. It is sure to know that the depression and inflation are not only the problems in Taiwan but all over the world.



But, here in Taiwan, we have 14 news channels to broadcast the news 24-7. It might be a surprise for outsiders to think it amazing that, how little Taiwan is as an island and can have so many news to be broadcasted 24-7. Well, we don't~



That's the dreadest part of it. There aren't so many news out there ever day while we have too many news channels which are desperate to spread the news. So, the thing is, they share news with each other. Each news will be broadcasted for about 3 days, sometimes a week. Or even, they will use the old news years or months ago, if you pay close attention to it.



Well.............It isn't news anymore, if it took 3-4 days to be known.



So, when there is a price going up, all news channels take turns to spread the news and causes the false image that the same item has been raised the price many times in a short period of time. It makes people feel that they are living in an abyss where no hope is ever able to be seen.



How can we catch up with the prices while our salary staying where it was a decade ago.



The enterprises in Taiwan never stop whining about how little money they make each year and still, their employees can get big annual bonus every year, especially to those government-runned organizations.



The primal factor to cause the inflation is the OIL price and the problem has been rotting for too long that it had deluded people to believe choosing the different party to run the country would have made the differences. Which was so wrong that ever since our new president was selected in March and was inaugurated in late May, the situation has gone to the very bottom and deeper.


The supporters of his might say, "it has only been a month of him being a president so far, we should wait longer too see his words proven." Well.....that wasn't what he had promised when he was running the campaign. If they can't they understand taht hungry people are impatient for the insufficiency, I am sure, the riot might arise anytime soon.

There is more, the 7 millions who were deluded had chosen a president whose cabinet members are having the permanent residency permit in either States or Canada. Even the president was once being questioned about his green card identity.

We are now, practically, ruled by a group of people who are either Canadian or American !!
How does that sound? They even dareto claim their patriotisms are unquestionable.~~~

If something goes wrong between China and Taiwan, we would be left without the head. Because they would be asking for political protection from Canada and States.

How happy are we to be here??? An enviroment with all doubts and questions and anxiety for the unstable life. ~~~~

May God be the witness and may we be able to have better lives SOON, ASAP~~~Because 4 years is too long to tolerate an incapable leading team !!

All Alone or Not, You Gotta Walk Ahead

As long as it is a good movie, it doesn't matter when you get to see it, right?
This one particular, I would say is a tear-jerker. So Melodramatic~~~ I cired my heart out while watching it at home with my hubby napping on the couch next to me. He isn't that romantic or any sensitive about delicate moves, but he is always there for me.

But........ here comes the "BUT" scary "BUT
The movie narration was pretty leaping at the first two scenes. The irrational fight with the steamy love-making afterward was somewhat cliche. I know how common it is to couples. It just isn't a new way of putting the set. Then, Gerry suddenly died~~He died~Jaw-dropping!!

So, I started clipping my toenails. I wasn't aware of how my toe nails were done. Because, before long, I started to shed tears~~~

From the Birthday Scene......To the end. Every mail Holly got had made me cry even harder~

I would say, it would be difficult for people to understand that sort of painful loss if they hadn't ever had that ridiculous, consuming love in their lives. Whether they got dumped or lost their love ones to the death could they understand the feelings of lingering in the limbo, being a living death.

The lines in the movie that I love the best was----- All alone or nor, you gotta walk ahead. The thing is, if we're all alone, then we're all together in that, too.

Yes, indeed. It is so true, is it not??

When I was 19, I had one love that was so consuming and ridiculous~~It took me 5 years to put myself together from my wandering soul. There were friends around me who listened. There were constant talks about the feelings. Story-telling to those who got in the same situations. Time passed and the timing came, that was how the closure was made~~~

Then, when I finally snapped out of it. I realized " things change through time, love changes as well, we are what we have to depend on. Especially, when the love isn't perfectly ended, standing on our feet is how you can move on from the wounds. "

Now, I am married. I love my hubby. This love relationship with him is just relaxed and comfortable, not tiring at all, not exactly consuming but I can still feel the heat. I sometimes tease and ask him about how sad he would be without me around or, on the other way around, on how sad I would definately be if he wasn't around. We all know in our hearts that it will be devastaing to lose each other. Because our love for each other is mutual and reciprocal. Of course, one day, when one of us needs to live without the other half, at least I would know how to face it.

Well....this movie was more than just love between couples. At the end of the movie, Holly's mom handed her the last mail from Gerry and told her how Gerry had made her cooperated with his antemortem plans. While handing Holly the mail, her mother told her it was time for her to make a closure. They talked about Holly's father, whom Holly barely knew much about. Holly's mom explained why she was so furious and against Holly's marriage with Gerry. She said, she was angry with herself for being so powerless letting her child going after the same path she once had been. Falling in love with a man whose characters reminded Holly's mom of her dad. It is needless to say that sometimes parents are not always right.


competitions.independent.ie/ps,-i-love-you......

Ginger, the AUTHOR. Yap ! Tha's right !

The draft cover

My books, there are totally 5 of them for the author.
The front.

The back.

Although, I haven't actively taken action on pursuing my PH.D yet. I think, the goal has moved a step forward with a new title that definately will be listed on my resume, the AUTHOR.

Ginger, Huei-Chen Yang, the author of the book, "Women's freedom of Choice in Marge Piercy's Three Women."

This out-of-blue fortune happened on an email I received one day this February while I was browsing carelessly on the internet. The one who wrote the email said she was an assistant researcher from a German publisher, she said my thesis matched their planned object and asked me if I would be interested in publishing my thesis.

I was stunned for a moment, tried to read it the second time and I cried out loud~~

The pressure was released through the cry of me and accompanied with tears and uncontrollable shiver. It was so overwhelmed and took me minutes to calm myself down~~

After calming down, I started to think it might be too good to be true. How would I be the one while there were hundreds of thousands graduate, post-graduate students out there with their thesis coming out every minute in the world, especially when many of them whose mother tongue was English and might have gottten upper hands in being chosen.

Why ME???

Would it be an international scam ?

But it didn't make much sense~Why bother spending energy on a nobody far away in Taiwan from Germany?

So, the first thing I did was calling my cousin in Germany, telling her the good news, asking if she would help me by requesting her husband to confirm the authenticity of the publisher for me.

At the same time, I replied the email saying that I was highly interested in knowing more about the detail.

The publisher said there would be no charge for publishing my thesis, but there were conditions and terms about the cut I would get in the future.

I called my professor right away after the reply and consulted her to see whether it was a good idea to let the publisher publish my book. In fact, at that time, I still needed to pass the editiorial censor. She would decide the possibility of the market potential.

I passed, and there began my way to my book-publishing.

Because it is a thriving publisher and are aggressively publishing the academic books. Their budget on the books are not that high. They provide an online system for all potentail authors to upload their information which will be made into book covers.

So, that was how it worked, I went online to key in the introduction of the book, the title, subtitle of the book even the author's short biography. I decided what I wanted to reveal.

That's interesting~~~ I even picked the color of my book, the designed photoshot.

The whole book- publishing event took nearly 3 months to accomplish.

I got my books few weeks ago. They are beautiful~~of course they are. Every part was decided by me.

I was trying to keep the news low until everything was finalized.

I still can't believe I have my own books now. Nothing changes in my life, still a nobody who wishes to have her dream come true one day. Hibernating now to store more knowledge and waiting for the chance to strike hard some day.

Believe Yourself, BRO~~~

My brother has been down for quite a while. I can't recall since when he started feeling moody.
He is upset about his love life, his unsettled future and family matters.

I can totally understand how he feels because I had been there years ago. When I was younger, when my love relationship failed me and I thought I would end up alone till I die.

When he talked about how he couldn't get the job he wanted and how unlucky he was, I was there listening and tried convincing him it would go away, telling him my own stories, how I had survived through the lows. Maybe I talked too much, and I shouldn't have done that. I should have just listened and let him vented all he wanted.

But I couldn't bare to see him got stuck in the mud and suffered the pain that one day he might find it worthless.

My younger brother is my only sibling, and thus, I care for him a lots~ We supported each other through many ups and downs, those hideous mood swings that disturbed us both from our mom.

Today, he went to psychic with my mom to ask about his future. He came back without any solutions~~ But he told me, he knew he had to believe himself and do what he thought was right to do. I was happy to hear this.~~ Afterall, our fates lie in our hands.

I had once written about the Psychic (Shaman) matter in my blog. This is common in Taiwanese culture. Before going to shrinks get accepted, people went to psychics for spiritual comforts,
trying to find ways out through supernatural power. Of course, it is only the therapeutic process that matteres!!

But one thing for sure is, never take the prediction too seriously unless it is something good.
Because postive energy accelarates the good thing to happen quicker but the negative one brings you down to the dead end infinitely~~

So far, I don't know what else I can do or say to help my bro. I'll probably repeat what I've already said.

Today, after calling him, I realized he was smart enough to see the situation.
I am sure, he will put himself together soon and moves on to the next step.
Nobody holds the key to the door you wish to enter, man~~~
You have all my best wishes ~~my dear bro.

At the End, So Much of It Turns not to Matter.

I am not just a book nerd who enjoys reading the mysterious, romantic and adventurous stories.
I am also a movie goer who loves to pick out those others have left untouched.
This movie "Evening" is a very very good movie that I'd like to share with whoever you are that is reading this post.

Of course, I am attracted to many of the commercial movies. But what gets me most is the one that connotes more than it shows.

"Evening" is one of those that moves me deep in heart. It express out what people might have needed to consume thier lifetime to realize. A microcosm that holds the key to the secret of life from women's pespectives~~~

The other two should be watched all together. The Hours, and Madison County

These 3 movies are all about WOMEN~~ About mothers / mothers and daughters/ passionate love that sparkles but not staying / Men and Men and Men's affection.

One similar story has been told from these 3 movies. Which is something like-----

A married woman who questions herself for her choice of marriage and unsures wheather she has been a good mom to her children or not and wonders what her life would be if she chose the star of her life. The one that ever has sparkled and leaves a burning mark on her heart that never fades away. The endings to all these 3 movies are all smiliar~~~

That....... life, one has had is whole and fulfilled. No regret is left behind because there isn't such a thing to be called mistake when it comes to one's life.

Life completes itself in a way that will always leaves something behind, even if you can't see it or be aware of it. That's what life is like and how it is. Though, you would have to have spent your life searching for it and still thought you could have had something better beyond your reach.

And.....it clicks and closes

There are times that I feel I am living my life backward.
Don't know how it occures to me.~~ Living backward. Flashback to the begginning when life is simple and pure

http://www.collider.com/entertainment/reviews/article.asp/aid/4751/tcid/1

Let's Say....佛不是佛,你也不是你....萬物皆空

There is a book entitled, "其實,佛不是佛, 你也不是你" in the book market. I never read the book, nor will I ever want to. But I do like the title of the book a lot. The line attracts me as much as the words,"萬物皆空" as well~~
These two lines are apparently representing the philosophical wisdom of life. They are, indeed.

I am not a very religious-practiced person myself, although I grew up in a family whose hostess devoted herself plenty in pursuing the spiritual peacefulness from Taoism.

But I love to explore the meanings of life, enjoy understanding the philosophical theories and hate to see those theories being made into certain religious norms. Ironically, that's how and where one can obtain the knowledge.

Anyway, back to the line of my title.

I put that on my post because I am telling myself to relax and let go of the obsession in my brain.
I am leaving everything that troubles me in GOD's hand.

Cast the spell: " I am not me. The trouble is not the trouble. The trouble isn't mine, I don't have the trouble."

Cheers to the beauty of life~~~~~Huray.

Speak Up Now or Never !

Every couple has arguments sometimes, My hubby and I are no exception as well.
I certainly have no problems in getting my opinions across.
I express myself loud and clear and make sure he bears it in mind.

I think I am pushy, maybe a bit bossy to in other's eye. But, I think, it is healthier that way.

Definately, there were times, I found it difficult to express my mind and each time, I regreted so hard afterwards. So, whenever my hubby and I have inconsistencies, I will remind myself in heart that speak up now orelse the chance will never come back ~~

Some experts believe that if women keep their opinions oppressive, it will be more likely for them to suffer from melancholia and hence, they encourage women to speak up their minds more often. Theory as it says it should be though, still doesn't reflect much of the reality in our lives.


Two recent incidents in newspapers reported women who suffered under either domestic violence or life restraint.

The news in Taiwan reported a 22-year-old married woman who had been abused by her mother-in-law for nearly 5 years in her marriage eversince she got married. The whole thing was uncovered because this young woman was beaten to unconsciousness. The domestic violence caused a riot to her hometown. The furious neighbors of hers supported her by protesting at the police station for justice not to be served.

The other news was from Texas, USA, where exists a polygamist community that forced 13, 14, year-old teenage girls to get married with old men aged above 50 years old.

The news said this religious community used religion power to manipulate the thinkings of kids.
They talked kids into believing the outside world was immoral and unethical that would corrput their souls and got them shut out from the paths to the heaven.

It is g-o-d d-a-m-n ridiculous ~~~absurd~~~morbid~~~twisted mind..........

Those poor children, mostly girls were controled by their so-called spiritual leader and only saw making babies to be their values in lives.

These news are so sad ~~~

How can women be treated like this?
why is this still happening to women around the world.
This is modern 21st century.

Feminists from academic fields are teaching our young women to think differently and take actions to alter the situations. To open up the diversifications for women.

That's what I am always interested in.

The reality we encounter still, is not perfect enough or any fitting to perform what we've learned in school.
This is infuriating~~~ It makes me feel so powerless ~~

I can't stop wondering if the world would ever reach the equal state for both males and females?

Would it, afterall, restrict only in feministic theories ? Never able to be carried out in action?

Would us, who believe in feministic mottos have double standards over our minds and real lives?

Sometimes, I think I do~~double standard toward my life and my ideal.

I let my hubby makes the living for the family and take it for granted. Because laziness has taken the willpower out of me~~
This is a lame excuse I know. But I am seeking my way out now, I need time.
I'd never stopped working in my life, until 8 months ago.
To be more accurate, I am working right now, only as a part-timer and the living is poorly scarce to support my expence. That's all.

Moreover, isn't my hubby supposed to be the one who should be supporting me through every life obstacles like the wedding vow says?

I will, soon enough snap out of this muddy situation and get my butt up for a decent amount of money.

What should women need to face the pressure of getting pregnant, working decent jobs and being independent all at the same time? Why?


Whining is passive~~~I am only venting for my health sake.

What's Next ???

My best friend is back in Taiwan visiting family and friends. I am delighted to see her again for the first time after she got married. I wasn't able to attend her wedding in States 2 years ago and so was she, couldn't come home for my wedding party this Jan..
Amazingly on how our lives have changed, we are married women now.


Before women step into marriages, the favorite-talk-about are either boyfriends or works. After women get married, "having babies" becomes the only topic around!!

I've constanly been asked about this ever since I got married and for God's sake I am now only being married for not even 3 months. Wherever I go, I got asked about "When are you going to have babies? Do you plan to have one this year? It costs a lot to have one these days, but doesn't his family want that? Afterall he is the elder son in the family..... blah blah blah"

Of course, I have thought about this. It is indeed much more expensive to raise a baby nowadays. Also, I am frightened to think of the life with a baby around. Still, it is inevitable in my marriage to have one eventually !

Well, I am really sick of this question now. ( My period is 8 days late now ! Out of stress, I guess)

I think, every baby is a special gift from the GOD. They will come its way to me~~I don't want to push it too hard to spoil it!

Nevertheless, I am happy to see my best friend home again. We've known each other for almost 18 years since I was 13. She is one of the few friends I kept all these years.
People come and go and so are friends. You have different groups of friends in different periods of time~ I make friends easily but I lose them as well when I move on to the next stage of life.

My best friend, Piggy is different. After all these years in State, living our lives apart in distance. She didn't change much! We talked and we laughed and it brought back all the good memories we had shared before. Easy-going, not manipulative, mellow and nice. (Perhaps, that's why this friendship lasts for so long, I am more manipulative and domineering and is a control-freak. heheheheh~~~) She is only home for a week and I got her for only one day.

She said we should visit her in States. I want that of course. Piggy and her husband bought a house in SC, I should visit her soon before I get pregnant and before my US visa get expired ~~ definately ~~

I am planning on getting a license recently, and my book is coming up soon, also I am checking the doctoral programs now.

Gosh.....busy busy busy......May God give me strength !

Alzheimer's Disease----Memories of Tomorrow

There is no second-run movie theater around the place I live. So I start going back to Blockbuster for films. Of course, from time to time, we still go to the movie theater to enjoy the big screen. As long as they are good, it doesn't really matter where to view them!

I don't talk much about movies on my blog. It's because seeing movies has been my interest since I was a very young girl, maybe 6 or even earlier 5 years old. I can't live without them and besides, there are tons of movies to talk about in a variety of ascpects. Can't really make up my mind on which one is worthier than the other! Moreover, it might take a great mind and time to discuss the film I like.

This movies, however, stands out above all because the issue it's involved scares me and I think, it needs to be paid attention to ~~~~

The movie talks about a 50-year-old middle-aged white collar who works in advertising business, one day finds out he has the symptoms of Alzheimer. The disease, in general ideas, usually would be thought to happens on someone much older. The degeration progresses differently on different individuals. Some get worse quickly, some need years to get to the bottom.

This character in the movie, suffers the degenerative damages in only a few years time.
The degeneration functions so quick that he soon forget his beloved wife and lives in the memories in the past. How sad is that to forget your love one ??? Seeing your beloved one in the eye without the trace of you in her/is memory.

It scares the hell of me because, I do sometimes suffer the short-term amnesia out of tireness or lack of sleep. Of course, I think that is really no big deal and I may think too much, maybe??? No one knows what lays ahead of us, so cease the day as much while you can. Carpe Diem~~~~

Well, in the movie, the man keeps a diary while his memory is still with him. He tries to jot down the triviality, so he can still hold on to something that presents his life.

Writing a blog is a similar way to it !
I kept a few diaries before, in different ages. All were about the sentimental emotion I had !
I kept my annually schedules though, since 1994. Jotting down the events of everyday routine.
It might sound boring to some, but I think one day, my kids can share and follow my path to the past.

So, I am here, leaving words behind me. Carving marks to leave a trace of my existence.







http://gallery.photowant.com/b/gallery.cfm?action=poster&filmid=fmjp00494640&pid=P-fmjp0049464002

It is a bless

My mother-in-law sent us a big box of fish by express today. The amount of fish was never able to be consumed by only two mouths in the household. I think, it might need 10 people to consume them all. So, I asked my husband to call a few friends and gave some away.
It was better that way, not just to keep the freshness but also could avoid wasting food.

Now, everything costs higher price! Never heard anyone got any raise, no increase in the family income. But the prices of all kinds go higher and higher.

It is a bless that I am married to this family whose business is catering. There is always food supply around. Of course, the cost of the business is higher now. But my mother-in-law trys to save the food expense by growing vegetables herself or picking the left over farm goods from the kind farmers.

Farmers only pick the better quality crop for sale. They leave the ugly-looking to rot or they share with neighbors. That's why my mother-in-law is always busy going to different farms for food.

Everytime, we goes back to Yun-lin or that we meets somewhere else. My mother-in-law will dispatch food around to sons and daughters.
Peanuts, sweet potatoes, green oninon, cilantro, pickled clams, fresh clams, fish, more fish, carrots, cabbages, vege-unknown........and more.

Maybe that's why I can never lose weight. Too busy consuming and digesting the food.
I have to cook often to digest them as well.
I won't complain it!
Sometimes, I can even bring some to my parents.
My dad loves the peanuts from Yun-lin. He never gets tired of it.
One time, my mom even complained that I didn't take more peanuts of what my mom-in-law had offered me to take.

The fish which arrived today was from our own fish tanks in Yun-lin. My hubby's family owns two fish tanks keeping clams. In order to feed the clams natural food. They also need to keep other creatures at the same time. So, there are milkfish, fish A and fish B. Sometimes, crabs too.
Sometimes, shrimps as well.

It is quite funny! Ours fish tanks are next to other neighbors' , so sea creatures pay visits to each other's homes. That's how we get shrimps or crabs sometimes !! Ha......

I am blessed and I should cherish what I have.

My hubby's family is very different from mine.
I can't remember much of how I've grown through it!
More judgemental, critical memories were left inside me, I guess!
I admire Angus' family for living a freer-minded life.
Perhaps they aren't well-educated and they all work as blue-collars, but they are all contented with their lives and children.
I can't imagine kissing my hubby freely while being with my parents or in the fmaily reunion.
But with them, that is just a natural act. Teasing each other and ask around who is the best in bed. Making fun of their parents!
Maybe all these are a bit vulgar and low in other's eye, but it is not oppressive to one's emotion.

Books Sharing

The story is about a man, before his departure to London, he ran into a female fortune teller telling him that his future was somewhere dark and deep and below. The incident was paid no attention by anyone included Richard, the protagonist. One day, years after the prediction, Richard saved a dirty wounded girl on the street and there began his unbreakable fate with her and her underworld below London.

This is the sort that always attract me. I enjoy reading the adventurous stories and thinking ahead what might happen to the characters in the stories. This one isn't bad, though it moves in a slow temple but finally, the story comes to an end and the ending is pretty satisfying.

I bought this one on Feb.2, 2008. I was atrracted to the plot and considered to purchase it several times before I finally did. But I didn't finish it. Usually it takes me only a week or so to finish a novel.
The first few chapters were great, I couldn't stop reading! I was forced to leave it behind because we were on the holiday for New Year. Then, it was left there untouched for weeks. I tried to read more, but found it difficult to continue. Perhaps I wasn't patient enough or that the story was too controversial to wait for the ending. I jumped to the very end to find out the ending! The protagonist died.....Sad...
I am sure, I will pick where I left one day.


Purchase date: Dec. 6, 2007.
It was about a little boy who was kidnapped by a group of "changelings," the child-like ancient genies. Those changelings needed to kidnap kids and changed their souls with them. So they lived the lives of the kids they kidnapped and the kids became changelings, living in the child-like bodies that would never grow old or aged. Henry, the little boy became a changeling and had been trying hard to get his identity back. In the meantime, the one who stole Henry''s body had working hard on how not to let the family found out the truth. Time passed, years went by, The identities were formed and everything was irrecoverable.
It was an interesting story. I was hoping that the boy would get his body and identity back. But he didn't. At the end, he chose to live in his "Changeling" identity forever.

The book is like telling us that even we are not who we are to others. People would just expect us to be the ones they thought we were!


Purchase date: Nov. 3, 2007
Strongly recommend this book. The plot was so exciting and fascinating! The mysterious, puzzled narration drove me digging deeper until the moment the answers revealed!
It was about a famous author who kept a dark, secretive past. Although she was known as the great Vida Winter, but no single one knew her real identity. Until one day, she decided to tell the truth about her past and asked a young biographer, Margaret Lea to write her memoir.
It was the time, when every clue fell into the place where it ought to be!
A story about Twins and Twins' love.
To us, non-twin. It is about the unreachable half that we may be loning for or searching for the entire life.

Purchase date: Aug. 10, 2007.
Didn't finish this one, either!
The narrator was the Death itself. It drew my attention at the beginning. Thinking when it was going to take away this little girl's life, or how special was she that she could always skip its fatal hand.
I think, it is because the book is in the wartime. Things in the wartime are very depressing!
Like " My sister's keeper" The background is about sickness, disease. Of course, it trys to convey something bigger than that. The whole atmosphere was just so suffocating~~~

Besides, my interest in novels, I've always wanted to read more books about theories. I enjoy the moment when I figure out the great philosophical ideas. But it takes too much time and I can't really enjoy the flow of the narration in the books. So....well... got to try harder!!





Photos reference: http://www.google.com/

Nan-Tou

Because I said so !

Don't know how to start putting words on this one.

I guess it was the motherhood issue that attracted me at the first place.

There was another recently viewed. Volver by Penelope Cruz.

I love that one better !!

The whole plot is better placed and organized.

Also about motherhood.

A self-helped soul searching, maybe??

I never be able to avoid being attracted by those mother-daughter movies or books.

Not yet a Mom. Definately a mom-well-prepared-in-theory

http://www.bulletproofrecords.com/press/biss/becauseisaidso-press.html

Married Women-----HOOD

Mom called me one afternoon to remind me of what I should remember to prepare for the prayer. Going to the temple on certain days is a ritual in many Taiwanese families.
Before, my mom would do everything for the family.
She knows every particular date. Dates to set food to worship the ancestor, dates for grandparents' dead birthdays. When to go to temples to pray, what to prepare, how to say your prayer to Gods.
This year, she called to make sure that I did the same. Only it was for my own sake!
Conventionally, we make extra prayers according to the Chinese year we have.
I am a horse. And I need to make extra prayer this year.

Getting older decreases my mom's memory and she called me several times to remind me of the steps that I should notice and follow. Actually, I was a little bit annoyed by her phone call at first, thinking how stupid it was to do it under certain form. I'd alreday got my ideas and had decided to do it my way! I thought, it was a prayer to God, in which that would only require nothing but your whole-hearted sincerity. So, I was annoyed to be forced to do the ways she considered it right! However, I didn't say much to my mom this time, didn't show her how annoyed I was ! I just said I would do it and hung up.
I understand her mind, knowing that she wants me to learn all this convention stuff because now I am married and soon in a few years, I will have my own kids and it is important that I carry on the tradition. That's my mom's expectation of what a good married woman is like.
Being a good married woman gains reputation that benefits not only to the woman herself but also to her family as well , for such a great achievement her parents have achieved to bring up a courteous, understanding and measurement-knowing-how daughter !

My mom's expectation, NOT MINE~~
I don't think I can avoid practising rituals in my married life. But I do believe, I have power over the convention I want to adopt and under what forms and pattern I prefer!!

The incident before Chinese New Year has safely come to the end

Mr. Huang had kept his promise and so, I had visited my parents during Chinese New Year as I'd planned.
We even spent the last two days of the holiday joining a trip with my cousin and extended family

The first-year experience with my in-laws was not as scary as I thought it would be.
There wasn't much emotional swing occured!
The truth was, I was sorrowful for a bit while but the feeling went away quickly for I was too busy to brood it on.

Thing about catering business is, you have to work harder to make more money while others have their days off and have time to spend more money outside their working fields.
So, we were incredibly busy during Chinese New Year. There were piles of different food materials to be prepared.

Carrots, turnips, mushrooms waited to be sliced. Chickens to be cleaned, Fish to be scaled. Lambs to be chopped ! Utensils, napkins and hundreds of plates and bowls.

No time to take a rest because the works never seemed to be done enough!
Orders were placed over the phone calls, one after another, ringing the hooks off.
Some wanted only one or two courses, the other wanted a table.

That was not enough, we had to set a stand in day market to sell the cooked dishes. For many housewives were lazy to prepare the big meal and they would want to buy prepared food.

We spent 5 days with my hubby's family working hard and at the third day, Mr. Huang gave up his own wishful thinking that he wanted to spend the whole holiday with his family and said he would definately keep his promise to me.

I think, if we hadn't been that busy, I would have missed my family so much and felt so sorrowful.
Physical torment is easier to get over with than mental one !!

The incident has come to a happy ending and I appreciate Mr. Huang for keeping his promise.

Marriage life does challenge my feministic belief. Still, I believe there are ways to make my marriage life better in the ways that fit better to my ideals!!!

Keep going Gingie !!!

Let's Wait and See

The first incompatibility in my marriage has temporarily suspended in balance. After the negotiation, we've reached an agreement of my right on parent visitation.
However, no conclusion should be made so far because I still have doubts over the promise.
It is hard to tell what kind of businessman Mr. Huang is?

The process on the negotiating table was ugly, two people who claimed to be in love and took the marraige vow, had fought with the dirtiest words ever.

I think, every argument damages the marriage somehow and becomes irrecoverable. It will leave a hole and accumulate until one day the hole gets so big and breaks the marriage!
No wonder that the divorce rate is so high ! High divorce rate doesn't mean that true love nowaday is cheap or isn't cared by the young people. It only shows that how assertive women have become and that, women no longer want to take any unreasonable repression in marriage.

I won't say that I've won over the conflict with Mr. Huang. It is not about win or lose!
It is about that since Mr. Huang's wife isn't weak in mind, which she has never been. He should know better that it is time to adapt his pace over his old chauvinistic thinking of married women and so he can be lucky to still be married to a smart woman!

To Show the Art of the Marriage relies on Conflict Management

The turbulence in marriage has arrived earlier than I had expected. I have always been clearly aware of the insecure, awkwardness in the relationship between mother and daughter-in-law. Because of my own relationship with my mother, I've never really looked forward to a closer connection in mother and daughter-in-law. Keeping a decent distance is my strategy!! (It is a fortune that we live 4 hours driving distance away)

Always being polite and applying with courtesy!! (It isn't like talking to your own mother. To your mom, you can reveal the real you without faking anything behind the mask)

Friends who are already in marraiges have suggested me to use husband as the buffer when communicating with mother-in-law. They said, it would defer the direct friction and create a safe zone for the future's sake. So far, I think, I can't agree less with it!

But, to get between wife and mother does make Mr. Huang feel like living in hell. It is easy to corner him to a dead end without realzing it! (though I am clear of this, I can't help but keep doing it in the opposite)

So, it becomes crucial how well a wife can play her role and ,at the same time, get the ways she wants and things she insists on.

Have I become a wife who can manage the skill of a smart wife yet?
NOT YET! OF COURSE !!!
I don't have the high EQ to be nice cat and mean cat at the same time!!!

My Mr. Huang just took his mom's side and decided to sacrifice my right on paying a visit to my parents during Chinese New Year. (So, I have declared my right and gave words that he will have to go home alone without me)

Traditionally, like how western people celebrate Christmas, we Taiwanese will get together to have a nice, big meal on Chinese New Year's Eve.
Then, after, the day of Lunar New Year, married women will visit their parents and spend a day.

Mr. Huang's family is in Catering business. They will be busy on Chinese New Year.(I can totally understand the situation and the importance of being a helpful hand) Because more and more families think it is too tiring to prepare dinner and will simply call out for the catering food.
So, Huang's four married daughters will be home on the second day of Chinese New Year holidays to help out the business.

I'll say it is good to have so many daughters and son-in-laws to be so helpful when it is hard to hire workers during Chinese New Year.

But to deprive my right from the tradition and ask me to help out while all their daughters are home with their parents and ME, stay in Huangs to help out instead of going home being a good daughter is totally , TOTALLY N-O-T Negotiable

How's this fair?
How can I put up with this archaic, foul idea !!

The plan we had before the argument was to be at Huang's three days before Chinese New Year's Eve.
So, if we followed the old plan, we would be helpful enough for plenty of works.

To be reasonable and think the best interests of Mr. Huang is Huangs problem to be concerned. They should know if they forced thier son to stick around and help, they would put thier son to the edge away from THE GOOD SON-IN-LAW zone.

It could sabotage not only the intimacy with his wife but the relationship with all the in-laws on his wife side!!

How smart will Huangs be? I don't know !!!

We just had the argement and this conflict is left without any conclusions!
I think, I'll just have to wait and see.
Being calm is by far the step I can think of!
I wish I could have talked to someone about it.

Alas, I have chosen this marriage and to marry this man and now, it is my problem to learn how to stick to it!

Orelse?
Orelse what, Gingie?

Howler

AMAZON~~~~WHERE ARE MY BOOKS??
What exactly is this tracking number stands for?
GM01088.............................???????????????

Which website should I be checking in?
The address is correct.
Even checked with the local post office
Still..........my books~~~NO WHERE TO BE SEEN

I need my books ~~~~IMMEDIATELY~~~
It is really frustrating to expect books for so long~~

Tokyo, Japan

Japan is a wonderful choice for many newly-weds to go for honeymoons. One, no visa is needed, it'll save some money out of budget. Second, Japan is famous for its culture, good manners and cleaness, so no need to worry about the being robbed on the street, it is totally safe to travel there. Third, I got married in the wintertime and Japan has many hot spring spots to steam up the erotic passion. HA~~~

What attracted me more was Hokkaido, the far north in Japan. The sightseeing tours in Hokkaido are all scheduled for hot springs, seafood buffet, hot springs, seafood buffet and more hotspings.

But, then, my hubby's friend back in the army was going to Japan for the honeymoon, too. We, then, decided to join them in the same trip to Tokyo. Everything was new and fresh!!We arrived there around 4 pm in the afternoon, and since Japan's daytime is much shorter. It was already dark everywhere, though the day was still very young.

The weather was cold. It was only 33.8 Fahrenheit, Much colder than Taiwan and was dryer.The first night schedule was loose! We went to a shopping mall for dinner and was mislead by our tourguide to get lost in the bus tracks. Our tourguide was nice, but wasn't sharp enough sometimes. We were supposed to take the hotel trolley back to hotel that we stayed, but we got on the wrong hotel trolley and stopped at a train station. Night life in Japan is poor.

In Taiwan, many stores open up until 12 am.

In Japan, stores simply close around 9-10, some close earlier! We were forced to stick around the station for the next connecting hotel trolley back to our hotel!

The first morning from hotel's window.

We watched the news in bed to know there was snow in Tokyo and opened the window to find the surprise.

It was my first encounter with snow.
Too excited to care about how bloated I was.

The first morning's plan was heading toward the mountain areas around Tokyo.

Here, we stopped at a tourist service center.Vending machine isn't a new invention.

But to see so many together in a shop was definately an eye-opening scene.Many different flavors of coffee and brands of tea. Hot ones. Cold ones.

Even the food machine which you could get the steaming food from it.

The particular square setting was the front door of the temples. When seeing this, you could expect a temple somewhere near it

During out trip in Tokyo, we visted several famous temples. They were all so sacred and devine.

Beatiful architecture.

There were fountain places like this one near every temple. For worshipers to clean their hands with the spring water and to rinse their mouths too. Don't understand why rinsing the mouth before going into the temple. Anyway, people don't swallow the water but instead to spit it.

These two scary statues were two Gods.

One was supposed to the Thunder God. While the other was the Wind God. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to tell apart which one was which?

This was taken on our way to our second night hotel.

The Fuji Mountain.

It was so SO beautiful.

The tourguide said, we were lucky to see it without clouds around. Most of the time, people would miss it due to the bad weather. Even with the good weather could disturb the view.

Before we went for the hot springs. We tried on the traditional custume, which is called, YUKADA.

It is like the bathrobe.

When we were about to leave our second morning, it happned to be snowing outside.

The snow wasn't big enough to be spotted.

Another temple visit!!

This one was bigger and more sacred than others.

In Japan, they have the regular temples for ordinary people and ones for kings only.

This one was for kings.

We ran into someone who served in the temple. I guess, he was going to hold a ceremony or something, but was asked by many tourists for photos.

Tokyo Tower. We had our lunch in the basement of it.

I like this temple better because it was like our temples in Taiwan. Around it, there were vendors and shops for snacks and souvenirs.

This Japanese sushi chef was cute and shy.

The raw sushi was so delicious!

Expensive too. We didn't have enough time to dulge our appetite.

Disneyland, the forth day of the trip.

We stayed over 12 hours in this wonderland.

We got up early to line up for the entry and found out that lots of others got up much earlier than us did.

I forgot how long did we line up for the entry.

Time went by while we were chatting, feeling excited about the facilities inside.

The weather was still cold then.

Seeing many Japanese families there to get ready for fun. For all tourists, we used the one-day visit pass. But, according to our tourguide, some Japanese love Disneyland so much that they bought the year pass to be there anytime they want.

And I did see some of them using the card pass, not the paper pass.

Exotic castle! Somewhat European. Don't you think?

For the first 8 hours, I was smiling non-stop like a kid. WOW~~~ at this and that. Tried on every kids favorite facilities.

Such as this one. The Turning Cups.

The Western Area.

We did stay there for over 12 hours.

Unfornately, I didn't make it to the Cartoon Town to take a picture with Mickey or Minnie or Donald Duck.....Alas!!!

Humungous Smoked Turkey legs~~~~

It smelled so good~~~

My hubby couldn't resist it and so we bought two.

But~!!!

It wasn't juicy. Dry and not juicy.

So... I took a few bites and left it all to my husband.

The big show in Disneyland is, there will be a parade almost everyday at 2 pm.

The time we took this picture wasn't even 2pm.

It was maybe 1:30 or something.

However, lots of Japanese had put out their picnic pads on the floor and occupied on the sides of the parade route.

We were so impressed how organized they were and couldn't help take this piciture.

Of course, people gathered up quickly in a short time, when we finally decided to find a spot, there weren't good ones to take.

I am sure, poeple who work in Disneyland always work in delight.

The parade lasted for about 30 minutes.

All the characters in the parade sang along the way to the end.

We, audience just cried out WOW~~~~

HA HA HA .......WOW....HA HA HA

That's Micky. Minnie

Peter Pan~~~~

Snow White.

It was great to see this famous character.

But....I think, this Snow White was a bit too old.

I was happy still though

Disneyland is sure a wonderland.

Lots of little girls dressed up like princesses.

It was too bad, they didn't sell princess custume for adults.

The last morning before we departured.

We went to MINATO station.

Here we took a monorail.

This monorail in Japan was so special.

It was like cable car, only the monorail in Japan used a magnet track to hold the roof of the car.

So, basically, the car slided under a sky bridge with its bottom floating.

Time to say goodbye. We were at NARITA airport.

Overall impression over Japan was good.

The only flaw was, it was difficult to find a bilingual tourist guides.

Everything was in Japanese.

They should put up more bilingual signs to help the tourist.

Chinese is definately a better option.

But at least more English signs to help out.

I like Japan.

I think, I will visit it soon again with my husband.